Agoraphobic Wife of a Trucker

by Danielle
(PA)

My husband and I have been together going on 10 years. In that time we have had many ups and downs but always have been very much in love. He has struggled on the past finding a job that supports us and our 4 children and it was always hard for me to watch him unhappy.

Recently I was diagnosed with agoraphobia. I pretty much am a classic case but in the last year it has slowly crept up into a really inconvenient problem. For those who don't know what agoraphobia is or does, I am crippled with anxiety and cannot be comfortable and any public place including grocery stores driving and pretty much anything that has to deal with anybody I don't know. It's a bummer lol.

So in April of this year I told my husband who always wanted to be a trucker that there was no reason why he should put off doing it any longer I had to come to the realization that my happiness can not solely depend on him being there every second that I need him.

One of the symptoms of agoraphobia is having that one or two people that you depend on to go with you to public places when necessary pretty much hold your hand like a big baby. so I had to put my big girl panties on and i had to let him go.

We're about 2 months into the trucker's life and our relationship isn't different we're still communicating functionally and he's really happy doing something he really loves.
I have been forced into a situation where I have to confront my anxiety and agoraphobia head on and I will do this and continue to do this because of my love and appreciation for my husband and my love for my children but it's not going to be easy.

I count my blessings because my husband loves his job I am lucky to have a very capable man whom I get to see more often then wives of soldiers sent overseas the men that work in the oil fields truckers wives are luckier then you think.

I'm not sure what the future holds but one thing I do know is that my husband and I have the type of relationship that can withstand anything time apart only makes our time together that much sweeter and each time he comes home I'm a little bit more independent than when he left and that is worth its weight in gold.

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Jun 30, 2016
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Good for you
by: Anonymous

HI, I too suffer from agoraphobia, panic disorder, GAD and PTSD. It's brutal at times you feel like your scared by your own shadow. But with the help of a great psychiatrist(sp) and a lot of determination, it is definitely possible to get it under control.

It's not easy and sometimes it's overwhelming, but when you have an attack, just pick yourself up, acknowledge that something triggered you and keep going. Be aware of your triggers, what caused the worse response? what was just mild and can I deal with that one.

You sound like you have a wonderful hubby, that is a great support for you. Reach out to people, contact local free support groups, and just keep going, you will do great.

I found with me, I began explaining my symptoms and reactions to people who wanted to know. Letting people know as much as I could find about mental health and my experiences dealing with it. It really helped me with the stigmatism of being labeled as mentally ill and it also informed others to make them more aware.

Good Luck, you can do this, and remember to reach out when you need to

Jun 29, 2016
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Great job at coping with the trucking lifestyle
by: Hervy

Great job on wresting with your mind and pushing through this with a positive attitude Danielle. I suspect you will continue to adapt and become independent.

Also, I wanted to share with you that I had a good friend who had the phobia about being in closed spaced. (forgot the name of it) She couldn't get in elevators, escalators, above 3rd floor or even drive on the highway where there were trees on both sides.

She keep pushing to change her situation and made continuous strides. This included seeing therapist and they tried to give her medicine (for anxiety and panic attacks) which she barely took because we both felt it would leave her dependent on them and trapped.

(by the way, I had another friend who died as an indirect result of those meds for anxiety and bipolar...that is another whole story)

Anyway, in about 6 years she had overcome the fear. Her situation had also changed dramatically. I don't know if it was coincidental or not. I did tell her upon diagnosis that I felt it was related to her life situation. The physiologist felt it was not.

She ended up seeing a total of three.

Bottom line is she overcame those fears just as she reached significant change in life (after finishing GED, getting a job, getting a car, new place to live, etc). I just want you to know that it is possible that you won't have this phobia for all of your life. Especially if you are actively trying to get past it.

However, I would do research on the fear and what could cause it, if I were you. Don't rely on the the Dr. to help you overcome it. They rely too quickly on treating the symptoms and not find out why you have the phobia in many cases.

Best wishes to you, hubby and family

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