alone most of the time
by ronda
(saint louis, mo)
You know it gets so hard having a life of your own when you are waiting for husband to get home. You are afraid of telling him what you are doing-if you are going to have fun with friends or if your are chilling at home and have control of the remote control.
They work so hard and so many long hours --and really friends don't understand unless they live in our world. I try to be patient and understanding especially on long weekends and I never let him know how upset I get when he doesn't know when he is getting loaded and he is over 2400 miles away from home and then today I did...but I just couldn't help it.
Their life isn't easy I have traveled w/ my husband and I see what he does and see the professionalism he has -- I just know he feels unappreciated by his company and I am the one that gets the brunt of his anger...well today I had my melt down and felt guilty afterwards but sometimes I thing they need to know its just as hard on us as it is for them.
I love my husband dearly but I get angry,feel guilty, and get anxious when I am out having fun w/friend --I am doing nothing wrong..I love him w/ every bone in my body but sometimes I feel that is taken for granted because he is so concerned about what he is doing..I don't know he makes a good living and I love him to death but sometimes I get angry because he's not here to share the fun silly crazy fun I have w/ our friends..what to do?
I try and keep him posted one everything - I don't lie I don't cheat I hold mhy breath til I know he is crossing the state line -I ache for him -we get so few hours together and I want to make them special -more than laundry cooking a meal and etc.. I told him I want a date night when he gets home and I don't feel that is wrong....its a lonely life on both ends and I would never want to be with anyone else God brought us together for a reason and I believe it was fate but man ....when he is tired and cranky and I am tired and cranky --it ain't easy!
God bless those those men and women out there 24hrs 7 days a week and sacrifice so much just to make a living! Be safe and the women at home will handle just abou anything we just need a little understanding! I maybe acting like a brat but I can't help it!