bf of 2 years is thinking about taking up driving again

by Dez
(Washington)

My boyfriend and I have been together for 2 years now. When we met he had a 3 night 12hr shift one week and 4 night 12hr shifts the next. A few months in he got a truck driving job. Mostly night drives and back in the mornings. He did this for 8 months then decided to chase better money 3.5 hrs away doing construction. And I stayed behind. We were working on buying a house over by him and I move over. But now he is thinking about moving back. Which I have played with staying here because my grandparents are getting older and I want to help them where it's needed. As well as his grandparents. But the reason he wants to move back is to drive again. This time it will be longer hauls. No being back every day or 2. No 3 days off. He'll be back one day then gone again. When we discussed it everything seemed fine. Now that it's night and I have him here until tomorrow morning then he'll be gone a couple more weeks for the construction job, I'm not ready to keep doing this. Yes I have friends and family here and work to keep me busy. But I've held on for a year now to have the chance to sleep next to him most every night and date nights and I want to be selfish and say I'm not strong enough for you to drive. And he really wants to drive again. He rode with his grandfather as a boy and did it on weekends with other jobs. The only thing that has helped me.out with our long distance now is that it will end. ..and trips to the doctor for lorazapam and venlafaxine. And I still cry most nights. How should I address this with him? He really is a great guy. But I think I get lost in his dream chasing. ..