Co-ed team driving when one is married. 'll

by Robin
(mich)

My question is my husband after 5 months of being married went behind my back to train a female and became infatuated. Done it again a year later and got busted now is driving team but says it's not disrespect to me as his wife just business. However I am not stupid. He is confused why I would file for divorce. He never called home. This all in 3 yrs and we are in our 50's and he has been driving 30 plus yrs. My question is how many men trucker would do this to their wife. And how many wifes would put up with this. I just find it sad that he believes everyone believes it is just business. He is a dirty old man and it makes me upset that trucking companies allow this. I understand it is my husbands choice as well to ddisrespect his wife as he has done but claims im jeoulous and he is not a cheater.Physical or not its infidelity in my opion when you cant come home call and are in fatuatuated. The female is also along for the enjoyment of breaking upbmarriages.How many times has anyone heard of this twisted mindset.what

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Sep 25, 2015
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The twisted mindset is more common than you think NEW
by: Anonymous

Any time a woman/man and man/woman find themselves living in close quarters with each other for 24 hours a day 7 days a week, for weeks on end they will develop an intimate relationship; having developed mutual interests or affections, establishing a friendship. This is a side affect of "driver training" in the trucking industry for the purpose of getting along with your co-worker/driver. The relationship doesn't have to become sexual, but often it does.
When one of the parties or both parties, in the truck driving relationship have spouses, not working with them in the truck, and start to pay more attention to the co-driver than the spouse/significant other it is definitely becoming an affair. It is called a sexual, and/or, emotional affair. What does the non-trucking spouse/significant other do? Depends on how committed you are to the relationship, but if you want to keep your relationship, go overboard with loving your spouse and the co-driver. If you verbally threaten the situation or show fear of losing them to the other, you will more than likely lose them. You won't feel like it, but find out what they talk about,and ACT INTERESTED IN those hobbies, foods, music that your spouse never mentioned that he liked, or may have even said he hated, that now are suddenly a part of his 'wish list'; The co-drivers/trainee/trainer's, interests, lifestyle, background that seems so fascinating to your spouse. Show just as much interest or more than your spouse does. If they forbid you this information or alienate you from any conversation, it is an indication that this relationship has been going on a long time. Get professional counseling on what to do, if this is the case. Really, it will help you decide what to do! Advice from friends or family will only add to your despair,so get professional counseling.
Most important, talk to your spouse BEFORE he enters into an intimate relationship OTR. Make sure he/she knows that there are women/men out there that are able and ready to wreck the relationship you have,( doesn't matter why). Prepare and have a plan in place that WILL prevent that from happening.

Feb 28, 2015
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co-ed while married NEW
by: AnonymousRobin

To Prude you are not by any means. If you know any single 50ish men like your self I would like to chat I loved being on the road when I could and im not dead yet and would love to find a nice honest faithful man to grow old with.

Feb 28, 2015
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Feb 27, 2015
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I agree NEW
by: Anonymous

Co-Ed is not a good idea. Especially if there are or ever has been any trust issues. My husband couldn't even help himself with a woman driver in his company, much less as co-ed partners. The calls to me became less and less, and all he said was he was so tired and had to get sleep. Come to find out, he had plenty of time to talk to her. Never in a million years would I have thought he would lie to me.Told me he didn't want me to know because I would think something was going on. The phone records don't lie. 25 years of marriage, and I have caught him in lie after lie. He says she is just one of them. He has been driving now for 3 years and our marriage is almost over. Lie and deny should be his motto. Currently trying to figure out how to leave him to set him free. 36 hours on a weekend hasn't helped us one bit. I wish my husband would be as thoughtful as "prude" . His wife is a lucky woman.

Feb 21, 2015
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Coed driving NEW
by: TruckerYitz

Well some team drivers do get friendly, however when one is up, the other us sleeping.
And visa a versa.
Ther us some same time up together. Each in their own seat.

So what am I saying. No sex and any extra touching need be done . Just like same sex teams.

Now if I am teaming it would greatly help if we could be friends. And talk and get to know one I other.

Like a police officer team.... Law n order is a prime example.
The officers know more about each other then the spouses do, but at the end of the day...... Working Ida for the benefit of the spouse and family.

So if you can deal with the fact that someone else is 24/7 in a truck with your spouse.......... Then all is ok.

If you can't.... You might have a bigger problem then you know.

Feb 14, 2015
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co-ed while married NEW
by: Robin

I can appreciate your feedback and I agree most women do not go into to be a homewrecker and need and want to drive. However yes my case is different with my husband persuing the woman driver which over the last 3 yrs. They both have solo drove with different company's my husband persued her to come back and team up. She however does it to be a home wrecker a feather in her hat if you will. But yes I can appreciate all drivers who do respect there wifes and not out there to intentionally hurt there wifes that like myself am sure bent over backwards for them as well. I realize I just got the disrespectful one. Three yr. Marriage I would have never thought he would change 100% at his age and being married only 5 months. However I seen what a man isn't.

Feb 11, 2015
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Co-ed team NEW
by: Anonymous

This won't be of much help, Robin, but "co-ed" anything has proven to be a train-wreck of a social policy everywhere. Women seem to accept it because they are afraid of losing their jobs if they don't. I doubt that most of them go into it looking to break up a marriage. Men do it because of their egos. A company for which I worked wanted me to train a woman on a road trip and I steadfastly refused. I'm no Billy Graham but I thought of how this would rub my wife the wrong way. Call me a prude but the slippery slope of co-ed teams has become a cliff that has ruined a bunch of lives.

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