Desperately needing advise from mother's of the children of truckers. PLEASE!!

by Brenda
(Smithville, TN)

Our Family Picture :)

Ok, this is the deal. When I met my trucker, he had been driving for years. We now have a 19 month old child together. (I have an 8 year old from a previous relationship.)

I am in desperate need of help with my youngest daughter so any advice you can give me will be grateful.

She has always been a daddy's girl, since day one. Her father used to drive teams with his brother for a small company. This allowed them to have a dedicated run where he could be home every week. Unfortunately the company decided they didn't want to carry the insurance anymore. This left him having to find a different company.

Due to other issues he ended up going solo. Now that he has gone solo it takes a lot more for him to make the same amount of money that we need to make it. Now we are lucky if he's home for two days a month.

This has taken a really hard toll on his "little angel". When he is home, she is terrified to let him out of her sight for even a second. She's terrified that he's going to leave so she doesn't sleep well when he's home. She's also on her perfect behavior when he's home. (Though she's a tazmanian devil when he's gone lol). I think this is mostly because in her little mind if she misbehaves, she thinks daddy is going to leave her.

I don't know what to do. She is so little and there is so much that she does not understand.

Like I said, any advice you can give me would be greatly appreciative. We desperately need anything we can get to help give my daughter a peace of mind about her daddy being gone.

She has been inside of his truck, and when she goes through the house screaming for him, I pick her up and love on her and repeat that daddy had to go to work to buy her some diapers n toys. I don't know if she understands completely, but I do know she watches every red truck she see's waiting to see if daddy's behind the wheel.

PLEASE HELP US HELP OUR BABY! This is totally ripping my heart out to see her cry over this anymore.

I don't know what to do.

Comments for Desperately needing advise from mother's of the children of truckers. PLEASE!!

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Dec 12, 2014
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make tapes NEW
by: anne

One thing you can do is have your husband make a tape reading bedtime stories or just talking yo his little girl. then you can paly the tapes at any time.. during meals and at bedtime. She will hear his voice anytime she wants and this will help. God bless.

Dec 12, 2014
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Aug 10, 2011
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mom of 3
by: kate

I raised 3 kiddos with there Daddy home on average 4 days a month it was a very hard but very good life and my kids never felt cheated at all the 4 days he was home it was all about Family Thats number one and every single night there was a phone call asking how was school what did Lil man do today and how was his Lil angel girl even at one he asked and would tell them he missed them loved them muches and would see them soon!!!! they all had a picture of him by the bed and crib and we would say our prayers every night holding Daddy's pic and if they were needing a Daddy minute we would call and he would give them all the time they needed to be worry free .. All I can say is include him in everything.. And know your kids when there down and sad ask why??? hope this helps... PS You can ask my kids who are 30 27 and 22 and they'll tell you they were truckers kids and there Daddy was always with em and it was an awesome life////

Jul 16, 2011
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Done that
by: Been there

I have only been doing this for 2 years, but they seem to have been the most up & down years of my life. I am 23 and my fiance is 25. He has been driving for 2 years but has worked for 6 or 7 companies. I hate it most of the time. It's not fair, not to me or our daughter. The first year of her life he was a stay at home dad and then one day, as far as she could understand, he was gone. It is a constant pain in the @$$. He asks to be home on a certain date and they say he will be and that day comes... he's miles away. He says he will be ome one day or time and he's not; so forget planning vacations, signing any legal contracts like a lease, and a wedding is unthinkable. His entire world is his daughter, he is the best dad I have ever seen (and i have 2) :) but she asks where's daddy? and i tell her at work and she accepts it as that she never knew him to come home every night after work so for her daddy's work is just that way and everyone else's is another. It makes me angry sometimes when she wakes up crying for him or gets hurt or sick and wants daddy, or mad at me and tells me i dont like you i only like daddy; and he is of no help b/c he's across country. In his case though he is living his dream. His grandpa, grandma, dad, uncle everyone drove truck he grew up on a truck. So in a way I hate that he gets to make this choice to drive and yet our daughter and my own life suffer the consequences of his absence but I am so proud also. How many people can say they are doing the job they dreamed of doing their whole life? Not me. And besides I have come to appreciate his time away too, i like being by myself to do my crafts or hang out with his mom (shes my best friend) and when he comes home Kadence and his relationship is almost closer than when he left.

May 04, 2011
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help
by: Anonymous

I am new to this but these are some of the things that I am trying to help ease the separation for my 3 and 4 year old. My husband tries to call home at night to say goodnight to the kids and that helps, he will also call or text us his location and we have a big map on the wall with a little truck that we move around to show where Daddy is. I am also going to have him start sending post cards every once in a while so that they get something special in the mail from Daddy. Hopes this help

Mar 12, 2011
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Hang in There
by: Beth in Texas

I have been married to a truck driver 23 years. Your story tugs at my heart. We raised four children with my husband sometimes out on the road for months.

IT"S HARD. It will be worth it.

The only suggestion I have is one I learned from a day care provider. Give your little on a picture of her Dad. When my grandson is left at day care a picture of Mom & Dad seems to comfort him.

Of course, continue to tell her Dad will be home soon. He loves you very much and he knows where home is located. My husband always brought home something for all of us. It didn't have to be much. My girlfriends never understood how much a truck stop item could mean on Valentine's Day. There husband were home and they did not understand the sacrifice my husband makes every day for his family.

THIS TOO SHALL PASS. May God bless you, your truck diver and your family.

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