Does coping with him gone it get any easier?

by Ashley
(Minnesota)

Hi everyone, I'm so thankful to have found a site like this. I'm 25 years old and I've been with my husband for a total of 10 years (married for 2).

He's been driving for about six months now, mostly regional but every few weeks is gone for 4-6 days at a time. The truth is, when he's gone, I'm a nervous wreck...I can't sleep, I constantly worry, I'm stressed out and melt down over the smallest things and take my anger out on friends and family.

Is this something that gets easier over time? How do ya'll deal with your husbands being gone all the time?

I don't know if it has something to do with the fact that I've never lived on my own...or that we've been together since we were teenagers and I never had a chance to get my independence but he really loves driving and I want to support him and his passion but at the same time, I feel like it's costing me my happiness and sanity.

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Aug 11, 2015
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. NEW
by: Anonymous

I feel people should never be jealous about what other people have? This does nothing for your self esteem. Which may be causing your depression.

"Jealousy is an emotion, and the word typically refers to the thoughts and feelings of insecurity, fear, concern."

Now I can understand if you envy others and wish you could have the same as them however, envy doesn't have the same effect on your person as does jealousy.

Maybe it would help you to find a support group that can help you along until you can get out of the rut that depression brings on. Learn what it is you really want and make wise decisions to move forward. All these bad emotions will hold you back from the finer things in life and your potential to live a happier, healthier, lifestyle.

I wish you well and be good to you! :)

Aug 11, 2015
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Mousing Him NEW
by: OTR Wifey35

Have been a truckers wife for almost 3 years and I HATE it! I want him home with me and my two kids. We both want him to come home local but do to finances he can't. I can cope sometimes but other times feel depressed and jealous of other women that have there husbands home all the time. I cry a lot am angry a lot and get more headaches when he is gone. I need someone who is going through these same feelings. Who understands the lonelyness and frustration. Blessings to all who feel their heart break when his truck leaves. 😪

Jul 07, 2014
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well NEW
by: Anonymous

I can only give a suggestion and coming from someone who has been with a trucker for 25 years...

Keep it separated.

Just like a job dont take your household problems to your job and leave your work problems at your job.

When you are on the phone and he starts talking about his job tell him you got something to do and that you will call him back later. There are plenty of truckers out there he can talk to about his trucking issues. When you have a problem at the house tell him when he gets home not while he is on the road.

Communicate to him you are not resting well. Figure out why you are not resting well. Then both of you come up with a game plan.

When my hubby comes into town and he doesn't want to drive all the way back to the yard after he drops off his trailer at his pick up spot, and its 1am in the morning, he takes the 7 mile trip home in a taxi cab. He makes good money and he can afford it plus its a tax write off.

Bottom line if he isn't compromising along with you and its just about him him him, well you need to take steps to think about just you you you!! Relationships are a two way street....try not to forget that....good luck :)

Jul 07, 2014
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I wish I could say yes... NEW
by: Kierstee

I wish I could say that it will get better. For me it has not. My husband has been an OTR truck driver for 2 years. It's just as hard tonight for me as it was the first night he left. He is only gone for 1 week at a time and home 3 weekends out of the month now. Our son is 3 and my husband misses a lot being gone for so long. My sanity is gone. I don't have a regular sleep pattern at all. I'm 22 and I feel like a very old lady. My husband loves his job though. He is 23 and going strong in his company. My heart feels the deepest sorrow of it all though. Try to find peace while you two are just starting out in this adventure of truck driving. I think back on when my husband first started and if I would have been able to find peace, I probably wouldn't be up writing this now. Prayers to you.

Jun 01, 2014
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no, you don't get used to it.!!! NEW
by: Anonymous

No I would say it doesn't get easier. My husband is on his fifth year of trucking. He went to a company that had free training and you had to commit a year to them. Well after year then it was to stay for another year because most places want two years experience.he was to come home and either get local or regional. He mad this decision on his own without me. we have a house and three children and its all on me. The one year we only seen him 28 days out of the whole year.I miss him and I miss our life before trucking. My oldest children have issues as well. I have cried, begged and pleaded for him to come home and he's still out there. I am angry, depressed and tired of being alone. I cry almost every day. I sometimes think this was his way of leaving me but only still sends money home. My advice to you would be learn how to drive and be team drivers. DO Not get pregnant and find out if you did start a family would he drive local. Good luck. .

May 07, 2014
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..... NEW
by: Anonymous

HE snores loud when he sleeps.

HE takes up the whole bed when he sleeps.

HE tosses and turns and pulls all the covers off.

HE treats the bathroom like its the truck stop.

it does get easier to send him back out so I can sleep just fine all week!! LOL...

May 07, 2014
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It does get easier NEW
by: MichiganAnnie

As far as loneliness that part doesn't get much easier. The nervous feeling does lift, although it never really goes away. We have installed cell phone tracket on hubby's phone and that does help. Just to see that he keeps moving. Lol.
I have a few hobbies that kind of take my mind off of it during the day. Nights are the worst.

Feb 07, 2014
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Also new to this NEW
by: laura

I don't have much insight to share, but I thought I would respond because my situation is almost the same. My boyfriend and I have been together for 8 years and he just started OTR trucking several months ago. I agree that it is really hard and I don't sleep well. I think it helps when we can talk every night before I go to bed. However, there are some places he doesn't have reception (Wyoming, Nebraska, etc.) and that is really nerve racking. I hope it gets better... Good luck you you as well.

Feb 07, 2014
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Jan 29, 2014
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Make sure NEW
by: Anonymous

That you are able to handle this new situation. It will get easier if you want it too. If you want to make it harder for yourself you can think of the worst and things will not get easier. If you think in the positive it will save you a lot of heartache and pain, and well if not then it wont get easier!

Jan 28, 2014
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Can you go with him? NEW
by: Anonymous

I don't think it gets easier! You do learn to deal with it. You will learn to develop interests of your own. I have not gotten used to him being gone though. The one thing I wish is that I could go with him. Unfortunately he is gone 4 -8 weeks at a time and I have a full time job.

Jan 27, 2014
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hang in there NEW
by: Anonymous

things do get easier.....but if you become very unhappy make sure to communicate this to him or how will you both come up with a solution? I am comfortable with it all so I have been just fine. Its been 23 years and we are still going strong....

God Bless

Jan 26, 2014
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Truth NEW
by: Anonymous

I feel your pain. I want to encourage you, but truth is, it's like walking through life on your own, when your married to a trucker.

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