Failed Promises

by Erin
(Missouri)

My husband and I just celebrated our 3yr. Wedding anniversary. We have been together for 4 years and I have a 5yr old from a previous relationship and she has called him dad all her life as her father abandoned her.

We now have a 2 yr old as well she is a daddy's girl for sure, they both are angels when he is home 4 days a month and when he is gone I am overwhelmed with my college coursework, housework, bills (mostly deciding which ones aren't going to get paid this month).

Last month the kids were rejected from daycare because of non payment. Now he is flirting with the idea of becoming an owner operator any conversation of the sort throws me into an anxiety attack but he is persistent.

I have told him my thoughts and feelings on it but it seems like my input doesn't mean a damn thing to him. Not to mention we are freshly back to together after a 7 month separation and numerous affairs.

But the question I ask myself everyday is "Would I have came back knowing that I would still continue the life of a single mother even after a promise to become local?" My answer probably not!

I love my husband very much we have been through a lot together. He is the man I chose as the father of our child and one he willing took on as his own. But now I am a full time student at 25 and living the life of a single mother. I ABSOLUTELY HATE IT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I was then promised that he would be home every weekend now the company wants to make him a trainer and now an owner operator. Where does it END?

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Mar 03, 2014
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starstarstarstarstar 		Sounds familiar NEW
by: Anonymous

Your story sounds very familiar. It seems as though not all wives but at least 90% are going through what you & I are experiencing. Finances do stink due to their measly pay of getting paid by pennies a mile if they are not an owner/operator. I. too, go thru the same thing with my husband that it seems like my input doesn't mean a damn thing 'cause it is all about THEM! They see what they want to see & only hear what they want to hear! Some men are boys in men's bodies, they never grow up! My husband has a friend who is getting ready for arbitration & the former company his friend worked for he wants a million dollars from them & he told my husband when I get the large settlement, I will buy my own tractor & I can have you on the truck & I can be able to pay you $1,000.00 a week, I told my husband for him not to hold his breath 'cause it is never going to happen. And just remember one thing that while they are out there & think about this, some men have no need to come home meaning they can get everything out there - sleep in their truck, shower & laundry facilities at a truck stop, meals out there, lot lizards if they want to get some u know what or maybe a waitress or a sales clerk at a truck stop can give them attention & not all drivers but the majority become this to avoid & get away from family responsibility! Basically me & the kids love it when he is gone & mine has changed while out on the road. Lately he seems to get into verbal arguments with me without any provocation! I read when a man has somebody else, he will start fights with his girlfriend or wife giving him an excuse for an easy exit!! & about his company wanting to make him an owner/operator, that is great but then again there goes the finances thru the roof! Good luck but remember some of us trucker wives reading these posts all seem to be on the same page!
Mar 03, 2014
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starstarstarstarstar 		Sounds familiar NEW
by: Anonymous

Your story sounds very familiar. It seems as though not all wives but at least 90% are going through what you & I are experiencing. Finances do stink due to their measly pay of getting paid by pennies a mile if they are not an owner/operator. I. too, go thru the same thing with my husband that it seems like my input doesn't mean a damn thing 'cause it is all about THEM! They see what they want to see & only hear what they want to hear! Some men are boys in men's bodies, they never grow up! My husband has a friend who is getting ready for arbitration & the former company his friend worked for he wants a million dollars from them & he told my husband when I get the large settlement, I will buy my own tractor & I can have you on the truck & I can be able to pay you $1,000.00 a week, I told my husband for him not to hold his breath 'cause it is never going to happen. And just remember one thing that while they are out there & think about this, some men have no need to come home meaning they can get everything out there - sleep in their truck, shower & laundry facilities at a truck stop, meals out there, lot lizards if they want to get some u know what or maybe a waitress or a sales clerk at a truck stop can give them attention & not all drivers but the majority become this to avoid & get away from family responsibility! Basically me & the kids love it when he is gone & mine has changed while out on the road. Lately he seems to get into verbal arguments with me without any provocation! I read when a man has somebody else, he will start fights with his girlfriend or wife giving him an excuse for an easy exit!! & about his company wanting to make him an owner/operator, that is great but then again there goes the finances thru the roof! Good luck but remember some of us trucker wives reading these posts all seem to be on the same page!
Feb 28, 2014
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by: Anonymous

seems to me he doesn't really know what he wants or needs for that matter. Do you really want to be with a boy or a man? It sounds like he is acting like a boy?

I feel that when we decide who we want to spend our life with they must at least know where they are going in life, and not just going around in circles.

Sorry to be blunt but your husband has proven that he doesn't know what he wants in life. 1. By making decisions and not sticking to them. 2. By cheating on you. The biggest question is for you. Is this the type of person you want to be married to the rest of your life? People with this mentality rarely change their ways, and if you are waiting around for him to change this level of mentality, I just want you to know you may very well be wasting your time.

Make the best decision you can for you and your babies. good luck.

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