Feeling down

by Starie Night
(Ohio)

Hi everyone on this wonderful site! I am feeling down and tired. My new husband just got his own truck to do OTR for the same company he was driving team for.

I feel like this is not going to end well for our new marraige. Yes I did know he was a trucker before we got married but he WAS coming home every weekend. Now he's back to every 2 weeks home for two nights and back out again!

I feel like he just comes to visit!!!! He has even said that when he is home he doesn't know where anything is because he is never here! We are also moving again and who gets stuck packing everything again? ME of course.

I am now a full time student (luckly online) and I am raising my 3 boys (from my previous marriage). Another thing is when my husband is home he doesn't want to be bothered by the kids!! I'm like they are your children now too so why can't you help out when you are home?

I get so frustrated that sometimes when he is home I just want him to leave again so I don't have to deal with him being an ass to the kids. I know that sounds bad but sometimes thats how I feel! I love him very much and I truly belive that he is my other half of my soul but damn I can only take so freaking much!!!!!

I don't know what to do! I want him home with me and to be here to see the kids grow up becuase they love him like he is their dad but at the same time he doesn't want anything to do with them.

He actually told my 12 yr old once when he got into an argument with me that he (my son) needs to go pack his bags and go live with his real dad!!!!! I was so pisssed off and upset that I told him that he's not to tell my kid that again because if he did I would be gone!

He says he loves me and the kids and thats why he drives truck bc thats the only was he knows how to make good money but I feel like he just doesn't want to be here and deal with growning boys!

Thanks for letting me vent I just get soo mad!!!!!!
I really don't know what to do anymore!