Fighting all the time.

by Leah
(Chattanooga)

I have been with my trucker for about 6 years now. We have two children. One is 4, and the other is almost 2.

In the beginning I went over the road with him for about 7 months until I got pregnant.

When our first child was born he was over the road for about 3 or 4 months until he found a job that brought him home every day.

Since then we had to move about three times, and now we are finally in a stable place, but he is gone all the time.

Sometimes after a week or two straight of me just being here with the kids I tend to get a little upset. When I say I need a break he gets so angry with me.

I don't know how else to make him understand that I too need adult interaction.

I live in a place where I have no friends, and no family from my side around. I don't get adult time at all, and sometimes I do hit my boiling point.

I don't work even though I really would like to just the cost of day care is so high.

I am hoping to join a gym that will watch the kids for 2 hours while I work out in attempts to make friends, but until I do I will remain living this life by myself all the time.

I know what my husband does, and I respect and love him so much.

Just when he does come home I always feel like I am on the back burner. I feel like everything else is more important then adult time.

How do I make him understand? Every time I try he gets so mad at me and accuses me of stupid things.

Need advice please.

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Aug 10, 2012
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Well NEW
by: Anonymous

He should be making enough money to pay for half of the child care. Those are his children too. Why would you have to pay for "all" the child care if "you" go back to work??? And he is at work, why wouldn't he have to pay for child care as you would do??

So this is something to think about when you decide to go back to work. Which should be done as soon as possible. Once you stay off work for to long it gets harder and harder to readjust.

We live in a nation of two parents working in the family and have been for many many years now, so it is not like it is unnatural. It is unnatural to not socialize whether it is at work or being around complete strangers. Soon those strangers may turn into friends, people who we can relate to, people we can confide in, in our time of need.

Try not to place the blame on him for what you are not doing for yourself this may be why he is getting upset, try not to tell him what you are not doing for yourself and how your upset.

Try telling him you are joining a gym for yourself and the kids are signed up for a couple of days a week so you can do this for yourself, let him know you don't have the money to pay for this right now but you promise to be a better person because you are taking care of yourself.
And that you want to begin to prepare yourself to get into the work force soon so you need to do this for yourself.

Try not to ask him for "permission" to do things for yourself but get a mutual agreement going on here, that's what communication is about. If you think he is not going to like what you present to him then both of you need counseling. Try not to prolong the agony if you do not think this is going to work out, or simply work it out.

All this can go in a different direction but you are the one that can make it go into the direction you want it to if you have guidance. God is a possibility, or seek therapy before something really does go wrong.

Gos Bless and Good luck!

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