goodbyes never get easier

by nell
(ne)

all i can say is it takes a special kind of lady and a special kinda man to make a normal marriage let alone a trucking marriage .

somehow we've managed to hold our marriage for 20 years now. raised 6 kids and let me tell ya sisters it was not and still not easy.

i think that maybe its a little harder now that all the kids are grown and don't live at home. the loneliness is sometime unbearable.

we talk 5 or 6 times a day every day Monday thru Friday but some day that don't fill the emptiness . all i can say is that i dont think ther is no certain way to make it work. God knows i was ready to throw in the towel more than once there is a lot of jealousy.

With me it wasnt with other women, it was me being jealous of my husband with my children. he was the great parent even though he was only home on the weekends so he spent his time being the good parent not disciplining very often and we always doing fun things on the weekend when he was home.

i know that sounds stupid but you think what am i chopped liver i work 10 hours a day cook your meals do all the school activity take you shopping all the things a parent does grounding them but but woppie.

I look at my kids now they all are great kids made it through college all 6 yippee very independent so i must of done something right .

So being a good fun dad was what they needed too he always worked hard for his family but so did i and he always acknowledge that what a different story this would be if he hadn't don't get me wrong never was easy.

The divorce word has been brought up more than once but when you have your soul mate you cant live with out him so 20 years later we sometimes have to stop and look at each and say hi im **** who are you.

We have to reconnect and not just go through the motions get to know each other again right down to the sex because sometime its awkward like it is when you are having sex with some one for the first but we never give up because we are worth it.

Its hard girls and i wish there were some secrets but i dont think there is its a lot of hard work but if you got a great man like i do its worth it.

Good luck to all