He says I want to be the man

by Ivon
(Houston, TX)

I have been married to to a truck driver for two years and I have one and two year old. Five months after we got married he got in a fight at work and got injured.

I was so upset at what he had done but I moved passed it and handled our finances (saw to it that we maintained our house, car insurance, etc.) He was off on disability for a year and a half.

When it was time for him to start work, he had to take a drug test which he failed. I helped him to find a job by filling out applications for him at different trucking companies and temp agencies.

I had to put my foot down and tell him that he had to start back working, whether a truck driver or something else. I was running out of money.

I put aside luxuries (going out to pay the bills). Now that he has started working at a trucking company, he is hanging out with his cousins that drink all weekend. He had pneumonia and it has triggered his asthma to come back. He is not in good health.

I told him how I feel. That I don't like him drinking till 3 in the morning and driving home in that state. Also, he gets verbally abusive.

Now that he is working and paying the mortgage, that freed up some of my earnings. I've been planning activities for us to do with the kids.

Also, since we haven't gone on a date in two years, I wanted us to go out when he has rested from his drive. But, everything I've planned he makes me feel stupid for suggesting and doesn't go.

I've been asking him to take me out to the new Scott Gertner's Skybar, but he brushes me off. Yesterday, I planned for us to go the Space Center Houston and he told me he wasn't going. He's says he doesn't want to do things with me because I'm trying to be the man.

I never wanted to be the man. I was forced into that position when he got hurt. I was only trying to provide for my family. I've never said he was less of a man.

I want him to be my head..my husband. I try to plan stuff around his time so that we can be a family and nothing works.

Please, help me. I feel so lonely in Houston.

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Mar 31, 2013
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Take another look NEW
by: Anonymous

I think if you re-read what you've written, and read it as though someone else had written it and you were going to give advise....you will see several areas that are in question. This has nothing to do with him thinking you are trying to be the man. Re-read it and ask yourself if this is the type of partner you would want for your children. It's no fun being lonely....but being lonely when you're with someone is a worse kind of pain. Pray about it. God Bless!

Mar 31, 2013
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you tried NEW
by: Anonymous

you have done your best and it sounds as though he is ungrateful...what can you do?

do you want things to change? only you seem to be the one with any hope....

relationships do not work out to well when only one person is doing the most, and the other one is doing little or nothing....

children do not make or keep the man, and it is quite possible he was this type of person all along, you just may have been unable to see it.....

I am sorry you are lonely now, but maybe you can take another look at your problem and ask yourself if this is the way you want to live for the rest of your life.....

good luck sweetie I wish you well....

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