He's gone OTR again

by Eleanor
(Idaho)

For the last several years I have been by his side. Funny thing is I was not going to be married to a truck driver but ended up with one anyhow.

He's gone for 8 weeks or more at a time because we can't afford it. I know because I take care of the finances and he just doesn't really make enough to run to households and that is basically what you are doing when your spouse is on the road.

He's home a week or two at a time and it just doesn't feel like its enough. He was able to pass through home with a load overnight, but he is off again and won't be in for his home time for another week and a half.

Up until he came through it had been a month and a half since I last saw him. It always seems like there is never enough time when he is home for us to just be together.

My health isn't the best and our child is a special needs child. Add to that the various things that need fixed while he is home and it seems like we can't enjoy ourselves.

I'm so tired of feeling lonely all the time. I know he loves his job and it was something he was born to do, I just sometimes wonder if I'm strong enough to keep doing it.

I haven't told him how I feel because I don't want him to worry that I am going to leave him while he is out on the road. I could never leave him I love him way to much for that. We've been married for 18 years now and I am not willing to give that up.

Something just needs to give where he comes home more often.