"Home fires burning" = 15 too many irons in the fire!

by Amanda
(Fort Worth, Texas)

My husband was a Truck Driver when he and I began dating a decade ago. When he popped the question, he promised me that he was going local, and that him being Over-the-Road was a thing of the past.

He went back to college our first year of marriage and completed his Associate Degree. Shortly thereafter, he landed a great-paying position as a consultant for Chesapeake Oil, who I had worked for off and on for several years.

Then, 2008 happened. Fannie Mae and Freddie Mac crashed and the economy burned. I read a headline in the paper one night that said, "Chesapeake Oil to curtail all new land projects." The next week, we were both unemployed.

He mowed lawns to pay bills and feed me and our 3 children. He and I applied for hundreds of jobs. After a couple months, my faher-in-law, who is a Pastor, called to say that a man in the church who owned a trucking company wanted to speak to my husband about a driving job.

The Lord works in mysterious ways, I've heard it said. My husband had a job the next week, driving Over-the-Road. How could I complain? We were able to pay our electric bill! Three years later, he is now an owner-operator because the man who owned the trucking company retired and sold my husband the nicest truck in his fleet.

My hubby does not understand when I say, "I feel like a single Mama sometimes!" It is frustrating to take 3 kiddos to church by myself, to sit at the dinner table with the empty spot at the head of the table, to do everything by myself that we used to do together. (Eat, sleep, pray, parent, etc.)

I told my husband the other day that I feel SOME of the same emotions expressed by military wives. Only, if I am honest- I feel bitter at times because there is no noble cause to justify my being alone constantly. Military wives have the grateful respect of a nation. He is not defending freedom-just paying bills.

Other women look at me sympathetically, like I married one of the Allman Brothers or a gypsy or something! If he dies in a fantastic crash or because a drunk driver is on the road, I'll get no widow's folded flag or color-guard salute like my sweet Grandmother did.

I am so grateful for a man who is not afraid to work! I am so grateful that we both (finally) are employed. But, I cannot help but be sad sometimes when life keeps slipping by, year after year, with Daddy mostly absent.

The older our sons get, the more I realize that I need to start eating my Wheaties and scheduling more home time with Dad, because they keep me on my toes and aware at all times that at the end of the day, I am NOT a man or a Daddy. :)

Here's to all of you God-fearing, hard-working "Mommas" holdin down the fort!