How do you put up with being a trucker's wife?

by Lea
(Michigan)

I don't understand how you ladies can do this for years on end. How do you sit at home missing ur man while they are going out to dinner while he is gone socializing with other women. Flirting with other women while we sit at home. Please I need to understand and need your help on how to deal with this.

I hate sitting at home missing him while he goes out. I understand he needs to unwind but I get so jealous of whom ever he is talkn to (guy or girl). I want it to be me he is talkn to.
Thank you

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Jan 14, 2012
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move on NEW
by: Anonymous

If he is eating with these other women and letting them drive him back to his truck then he doesnt have very much respect for your feelings and your relationship. Dont mean this as being disrespectful to u or him but that is not how you act when you are in a relationship. I bet he wouldnt be to happy if u went out to eat with other men when he is gone. If that was my husband then we would be getting a divorce. I wish you the best.Hope it works out.

Jan 14, 2012
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It takes alot of patience NEW
by: christine

I have been with my husband a few times on the road Its not like they have alot of down time to flirt with other women or just sit and talk to other people. Really have you seen these women in the truck stops they look like men themselves. If a man is the type to flirt with other women then he would do it at home or on the road. I also wish my husband was talking to me the whole time he was gone but i know that he is working and he cant. if you dont trust him to be gone with out flirting then you guys might have a big problem down the road. when i was with my husband he spent more time waiting around and driving then he did talking to anyone. and as far as eating out yuck!! i feel lucky that i dont have to eat that crap. I trust my husband when he is on the road and when he is home. you should take a few trips with him and check it all out its not that glamorous. It is hard to stay at home and be alone day after day. It sucks but i cant see my life with out him im it. So i had to decide which i could live with him and the job or let him go. Letting him go was not a option for me.. I wish you guys the best, hang in there if you really love him.

Nov 19, 2010
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I am not a truckers wife but I know a little something
by: Hervy

Just my 2 cents.

First of all, I think you ladies are right in the advice.

Just one catch.

I think her problem is partially stemming from what she knew about him before she married him. So if he was a quite guy or focused on other things in his spare time beside bar hopping I don't think she would feel the way she does.

All I can tell you is, you said he has responded to your requests. Don't sound like anything you requested is unreasonable and if he shows some changes that is a good sign for you.

Although you can expect a person to change somethings, other things a person should change when status change is common sense and controlled quit frankly by your love for the person you are with, because if you love someone you don't want to hurt them.

If a person is doing things that would hurt if the shoe was on the other foot then that is a problem,(either with maturity or sincerity) but I digress.

You said he is showing changes which means he is responding with love to your feelings. So, if this is true, do as the ladies advised, trust him, love him and be the wife he doesn't want to be without and can't wait to get home to see.

Best wishes

Nov 17, 2010
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Thank you......
by: Lea

It seems to be only 2 stops that worry me.... one he quit stopping (so he says) and the other well im going to have to deal with it. He is very friendly and finds people to talk to where ever he goes (my dad is the same way so im fine with that). He has the same run for 5 days a week its a round trip run he has been on since 2004. Mid way he used to stop and shower everynight then i found out he the woman that worked there he was friends with. He says just friend but ive heard her refered to as his "Truck slut" by one of his coworkers he runs with when his buddy didn't know i was there to hear. She still texts and calls everyonce in a while, they used to go out drinking. After i saw a text that they need "to get together that its been a too long" and he said said "sounds like fun" i put my foot down. Upon my request he showers elsewhere (again as far as i know.) The other, well that is a resturant that he goes to alot before bed. When we first started dating he used to brag about how the women hugged him when he came in a such. The waitresses used to drive him back to his truck and they would go to the bar. I have to say that i put an end to the rides to the truck, the hugs and bar hoping with the women. He seems to understand that it makes me uncomfortable and a bit nutso (not normal for me)and he seems ok with it all. He says he loves me and that they don't matter to him that i do. For me its call survival, when i feel threated i take action. So far my gut instint is right and has served me well.
He is very patient with me through it all, he doesn't always agree or understand but he tries not to add to my anxiety over cheating. He realizes my exhusband did quite a number on me with his cheating. And that it will take me along time for me to trust anyone.
Thank you for taking time out of your day to listen.
Lea
Michigan

Nov 17, 2010
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seriously
by: Anonymous

Im not trying to ridicule in anyway. I have driven across the country from Michigan to nevada Michigan to Tennessee to Florida and back then from Nevada to Texas to florida. I'm not seeing any women out there that are even worth talking to. What women are you saying that he might be talking to? Cashiers at truckstops? Waitresses maybe? Yeah I have seen those women and they are no prize to even look at much less to even flirt with. He must be really hard up to flirt with them. I am not a driver yet but I am looking into being a trucker as I can only get jobs for 8.50 an hour. Trying to start a life with my wife and she has to work two jobs and I can only seem to get this one job basically I never see my wife. If I were a trucker I am sure we could afford to own a house instead of living in this hole in the wall apartment. We want to have kids one day and being a trucker is honestly the only way we can achieve this goal. I read an article on this site that talks about cheating. It said you should never worry about what your spouse is doing just worry about what you are doing. He has to not worry about what you are doing just worry about what he is doing. If you aren't doing anything wrong well you just have to believe that he isn't doing anything wrong. I wish you and your husband the best of luck. Just find a hobby or something that keeps your mind occupied while he is gone and when he comes home make it the best time that you guys ever had.

Nov 15, 2010
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Thank you.....
by: Lea

Thank you for the input. I am going to have to work on some things with trust at the top of the list.

Nov 14, 2010
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patience and understanding.
by: RhaeandFayesMom

Ok, i just got to add my two cents to this. It is really easy to fixate on everything that is going on that you can't be involved with. If you continue, it will only ruin your relationship and drive you mad.

The life of a trucker is extremely lonely out on the road. They spend many hours alone just setting in the truck driving. You should not consider him flirting with other women just because he's talking to them. Also, as far as him dinning out everyday compared to eating left overs at home, trust me if he had the option i'm sure he would much rather be home. (I mean honestly, how many truck stops have you seen that honestly serve decent healthy food that tastes good? Most truck stops serve the greasy nasty stuff that I wouldn't feed my dog.) But it's either that, sandwiches, or something that is quickly nuked in the microwave. Instead of thinking how good he has it, think of how better you have it at home. You have the option to shower decently in a clean tub/shower, you can go to the bathroom at your own convenience, not because it's the only exit available for the next 100+ miles. Not to mention all the drama they have to deal with as far as dealing with other people on the road that drive like crazy maniacs. I suggest you go out on the road with your trucker, one good time. It will really give you a whole new respect for what he goes through on a daily basis. Trust me, it's not as glamorous as you think it is.

I would also suggest you find something to preocupy ur mind while he's gone. that way ur not constantly driving urself crazy w worry. trust your love for each other

Nov 12, 2010
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Re: put up with
by: Barbi

Well said Tinytoez. I agree 100%. I trust my man completely. He works so very hard, that I want him to go out and get himself a nice dinner. He mostly eats in his truck, and he deserves to relax and unwind. If he is flirting, well, I am not there to see it so it does not bother me. Yes it is hard to be a truckers wife, but that is the life we have to live right now. Once the kids are grown, I can join him on the road. Till that day comes, I have to have faith in him, and in our love.

Nov 12, 2010
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Trust
by: Tinytoez

You have to trust your man when he is a truck driver. If you don't have that trust that you are the one he is missing and wishing he were with while on the road you will eat yourself up inside.

I know I can call him anytime, day or night, and if he does not answer (which is rare) I get a call back within minutes.

And as far as the eating out and/or flirting - he is too busy trying to get to the load safely and on time - he cooks in the truck except for once a week, so he is eating off the menu I wrote for him. He is friendly with others, but any flirting is harmless.

He is counting down the days till he is home just like I am, and when he gets home...well, let's just say NOBODY feels him love anytime like I do then!!

Bottom line, I love my man and he loves me, there is no question to that, and because of that I trust him completely.

That is how you deal with it - trust and love.

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