How I am Coping With a Trucker Husband

by Jo D

I guess as far as coping with my husband being out away from home i would seem like a very unlikely person to give advice if you asked my family and friends.

i am still very new to this life as a truckers wife (only 4 months). i have spent so many days and nights crying missing him, wishing him home and counting the days until his return, but for me weeks turned into months, going on 2, i tried talking to him about how much i missed him but it makes him angry when i tell him i want him to come home because he says he can't until he gets some money built up to get caught up with our bills.

This I understand but for me i guess after he missed Christmas, now new years and still only just a hope that he will be home on the 10th I have come to the conclusion that since i can't tell him how i feel and i know my family and friends are really tired of listening, i am keeping a journal with all my thoughts and i can write about how much i miss him and want him to come home.

I am not going to say this is a good answer to dealing with him being gone but it is just my way.

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Aug 27, 2010
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i feel the same way
by: melissa

my husband has only been gone a week and i already miss him like crazy! i have the same problem with my family, they are getting tired of hearing me say how much i miss him. they think that i should just be strong and i am but.... sooner or later the strength wears out..... when you are in your bed at night alone and he has to go to bed so he can't talk to you on the phone anymore. if this isn't what he really wanted to do, i would tell him "i will work too if you will just come home" but he loves driving those big trucks.
anyway, i know how you feel, sometimes it feels like you have no one to talk to about the way you feel about him trucking. my oldest step-daughter came to live with us yesturday and he was estranged from her so yesturday was the first time i have ever met her. she has so many problems that he needs to be here to talk about with her but he is not here, so ince again everyone goes to the back burner until he gets home - and who knows when that will be!

i really appreciate you posting how you feel, it helps me knowing that i am not the only truckers wife alone and miserable.

Jan 04, 2010
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You sound miserable!
by: Robin

I'm so sorry you're sad, Jo. It's such a tough thing to get used to. My husband was gone for Thanksgiving and just BARELY got home in time for Christmas (he got home Christmas eve at 10pm).

You're not wrong to be upset or mad or struggle with it, because it's very hard. I wrote in journal at first, too, but it really helps to have other people to talk to.

Jen did a really good job setting up the wives' support group on facebook...we can commiserate and support each-other like nobody else can...! Please consider it - You'll be miserable, though, for as long as you let yourself.

If you want your life to feel somewhat "normal" you have to figure out how to deal with it and work it out. He's just mad because he's frustrated...he doesn't feel like he has a lot of choices.

This is a tough time for everyone! My husband has only been doing this for 5 months, so I really get what you're talking about. I hope you find the strength to find a way to live with the choices he's made and enjoy the time you get together when you do...there are some good things....I've noticed that when my husband is home, now, he's really "here"....he pays more attention and is very present...he doesn't waste a minute! It's a learning curve for them, too!

These women have taught me a lot!! I hope you find some support and strength through others who are also in your situation, but you have to open yourself up to it!! Take care, hope to see you on facebook, soon!!
Robin

Jan 04, 2010
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A sounding board
by: Jennifer S

Jo,

We understand, probably more than you realize. All of us were new at it at one time.

I have opened a facebook account for real time advice and support for us wives. This is such a difficult life to live, and honestly girl, its about attitude..

See "advice for you", and my article "power of thought". It is true. I almost ended up divorced because my attitude towards what he did sucked. The nights I spent alone crying, wishing, praying..on and on. I found that if I wanted my relationship WITH MY HUSBAND. I had to be the one to change.

Please add the truckers wives on facebook. There are many of us there to help- and we will be there for those long nights that you feel like no one understands

http://www.facebook.com/home.php?#/Truckers.Wive

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