If you think a trucker is tough you should meet his wife!

by Betty
(Avon, IL)

Well, I must admit it depends on what day it is. Being married to a trucker has its ups and downs just like anything else.

I raised two son's with my husband on the road over half their lives. It was tough and it is a lot of responsibility. Some days I just wanted to quit being the caregiver and be taken care of. And that for me is the hard part.

My son's are both gone now, one has been gone for 4 years and the other just graduated from Marine boot camp. They are 23 and 21. So I now have an empty nest.

I have been needing a little attention on the weekends but he drives so hard during the week he is exhausted when he gets home on Friday. While I understand and I am a good wife sometimes I just want it to be about me.....

But I also now I have been with this man for 20 years and if it hasn't happened yet it isn't going to happen.

My husband became a trucker after we had been together for ten years. It was not something I married into but something that just happened because there were no jobs for him.

My dad is a truck driver as well as his so we both new what we were getting into but it's different to be married to a truck driver then to have your dad be one.

I watched my mom for years raise five children on her own and completely take care of our home so at least I knew what I was doing when it became my turn to be married to a truck driver.

I stay busy when he is gone, it's kind of weird but when I do feel lonely it's when he is home. I guess it's because he is there and it's like he is not because sometime's he just sits in his chair and drinks some well deserved beers.

Now don't get me wrong it is not like that all the time. I have a great husband, and he does show his appreciation a lot. He is not perfect though as he is a man! LOL!

He is faithful and he helps around the house when he is home. He mows and helps with laundry and stuff like that. But I only really get him one day a week. You figure he get's home on Friday night and then Sunday we spend half the day getting him ready to leave on Monday morning.

During certain times of the year he is gone from Sunday till Friday, but that only last's about five months. Then during harvest he is home every night but he usually don't get home till ten or so and I work also so I am usually going to bed at that time and he pretty much works four week's straight no day's off during harvest. It's tough too!

I know why my husband drives a truck. It's not to be away from home but it is the only way we could put our son through college and send our other son to Europe. He did it for the boy's which makes it a lot easier to deal with as I have positive things to say to myself when I get to feeling blue.

It really isn't different then any other thing you deal with in life, it is all about your attitude and thinking. Sometimes it's nice and sometimes it sucks. I just deal with what ever when ever!!!!!

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Jun 23, 2014
Rating
starstarstarstarstar 		Married to a trucker NEW
by: Anonymous

At least you are lucky that yours comes home once a week, try having your husband gone for 2-3 months at a time, hometime is only for four days, so if you narrow it down since mine is OTR for a good 2-3 months & only getting 4 days for home time that means I only spend anywhere between 24 days to maybe 16 days out of the year with my husband out of 365 days! Now we are talking it being tough being a trucker's wife & especially if he starts verbal fights with you over the phone that I know I did not initiate the fight & I wind up hanging up on him!
Jun 23, 2014
Rating
starstarstarstarstar 		Married to a trucker NEW
by: Anonymous

At least you are lucky that yours comes home once a week, try having your husband gone for 2-3 months at a time, hometime is only for four days, so if you narrow it down since mine is OTR for a good 2-3 months & only getting 4 days for home time that means I only spend anywhere between 24 days to maybe 16 days out of the year with my husband out of 365 days! Now we are talking it being tough being a trucker's wife & especially if he starts verbal fights with you over the phone that I know I did not initiate the fight & I wind up hanging up on him!
Jun 23, 2014
Rating
starstarstarstarstar 		Married to a trucker NEW
by: Anonymous

At least you are lucky that yours comes home once a week, try having your husband gone for 2-3 months at a time, hometime is only for four days, so if you narrow it down since mine is OTR for a good 2-3 months & only getting 4 days for home time that means I only spend anywhere between 24 days to maybe 16 days out of the year with my husband out of 365 days! Now we are talking it being tough being a trucker's wife & especially if he starts verbal fights with you over the phone that I know I did not initiate the fight & I wind up hanging up on him!
Jun 19, 2014
Rating
starstarstarstarstar 		Tough skin and level head NEW
by: Hervy

Thanks for sharing Betty. Seem you have a well balanced view of what is going on with your relationship and situation as a whole.

It is often useful to view things in the way that you have in order to gain strength to persevere and remain happy.

Both of you seem to contribute to the relationship and it isn't too one sided. Except at times, lol.

I think you might consider having a conversation about about how to make things even BETTER.

Or you alone might just want to try and see what sparks you can make fly. What surprises can you spring on Saturday that really blow him away? How would he respond?

What could you do Friday night that would make stop in his tracks when he sees you and not want to get out of the bed in the morning.

Don't assume that because of how long its been the way it is, that change is not possible. You guys can make some changes in the relationship. Both of you can get more of what you want, if you have the conversation about it.

The biggest thing to realize though is that you might can get the attention you want more consistently with a few creative ideas or even just getting dolled up and lowering the light with his favorite perfume on.

By the way congratulations to you guys. Seems you have your children well on their way. Always nice to see happen! Probably has a lot to do with both of you contributing and sacrificing greatly in different ways.

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