Is it just me?

How do I start? I have been with my fiance for 22 years have 2 children and 3 grandchildren. 3 years ago he started to drive truck.

With the 1st company he drove for I was able to go with him when my job allowed, but due to circumstances he switched companies 2 years ago (which doesn't allow passengers).

My question is how do you know if he is just tired or if there is someone else or is it just my imagination?

Somedays he calls all the time and then the next I can't get him to say 2 words. He isn't much of a talker normally, but I don't even know where I stand.

Our youngest is a senior in HS and other than work I don't do anything for myself. I live in a remote area and have lost track of friends I used to have.

How do I keep my mind from wandering and thinking the worst?

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Apr 11, 2011
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Is it ME, Again?
by: Anonymous

Thanks for all the advice. Getting on this site and being able to read some of the other posts helps. I do want to say I don't always feel like I did in the first post. I'm sure some of the issue is just being alone so much. As I mentioned our youngest is a senior in Hs, but she also is involved in sports and has a job. So this past school year I have been left alone even more. Maybe part of it is also the "empty nest" syndrom.

I will try to get him to talk about how I feel when he is home - I don't want to stress him anymore while he is on the road.

Thanks again for the advice and for being here for those of us who are still new to this.

Apr 10, 2011
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Hope for the best
by: dhiossa

I think what you describe with the talking fits my husband. He has only had his CDL a year. We have been married 25 years. It is truly his job that causes the distraction. Some days they are sending messages every 5 minutes which distracts him. I have learned when he is short or non talkative to let him know I love him and appreciate the sacrifice he is making. He usually calls later and unloads how bad his day was going.

I would just wait until he is parked, fed and showered and let him know you are having a hard time and need some reassurance.

I also try to give my hubby time alone when he is home to really unwind. I will take the kids off so he is home alone and tell him to do "nothing". That seems to really let him unwind.

It is hard not to let our minds go to worse case but if you have had a loving trusting relationship I would continue to trust.

Apr 10, 2011
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Is he cheating or tired of you
by: Hervy

Well, I don't see enough info to really assume either of those with any type of conviction.

Which I am happy of.

It is entirely possible that he doesn't like his job. If this is true, the days that he is quit could be days that he is stressed or has had a bad day.

Ask him how he gets along with his dispatcher. How does the company treat him. Is he happy at the job.

He does answer the phone. That is a good sign even if he is quite. Unless he also rushes off the phone or responds completely irrelevant to certain types of questions or comments you make. That of course would be strange and indicate other issues.

Also, ask him directly about those two different attitudes. Ask him directly is he is still in love with you. Hopefully he will have a loving and affirming response. Not angry and hostile, which may not necessarily point to anything incriminating but a poor attitude. But you have other background and history to know if that is new or normal.

You also definitely need to have friends to interact with. It's good for you. You should be selective though and not deal with people who will tempt you with thoughts or to do things that will strain your relationship.

Take a continuing ed class. As a matter of fact see if there are relationship classes available or maybe there is another passion that you have, which could occupy some of your time.

The main thing you should do first though is communicate your concerns to him and get that feedback.

Good luck

Apr 09, 2011
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Trust
by: DZRTJUL

You must have trust. If you have no trust you have nothing.

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