Juggle between fireman and trucker wife

by Joe

I am a fireman in a big city and work part time at the local fire house. My wife just graduated school and got a job with wcd trucking. They said 2 days out 2 in which I was ok with.

However the first 2 weeks she wasn't home due to training, third week out almost a week but home for a day before I went back to work 24hrs. Now she's gone and won't be home till at least Monday or Tuesday.

I asked her to try to ask her dispatcher if she can be home on a day I am off from both jobs. We have a 2 year old who hasn't been away from mom in 2.5 yrs. How do I cope with the schedules and not being able to see her.

I was used to her being home when I was during those 2.5 yrs also. And now I hardly ever talk to her. When I try to ask her to be home or we need family time the answer I get is stop being whiney and she is the rookie she has to go all the time.

She likes to text.

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Apr 21, 2016
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Life isn't all cracked up to be
by: Anonymous

Joe, Yes it can be hard and if the terminal isn't in the town you live in makes it hard to get home. I was a team with my husband we were out Monday thru Friday home on weekends. Then he made excuses for me to stay at home and once in while get back in truck.

Long story short, every time I am out of truck schedule would happen to change. Needless to say I found a notebook of pickups and deliveries and a shocker. People he met off of trucker personals. Com the same one that offers this service. Found numbers, names password to sites so I visited,and called a few and he was meeting both sex types .

I hate to hear there is a toddler without her mother. This is the most important time of her life for security, stability, and love. So yes if she really wanted to yes she could go to her dispatch or boss.and they sometimes will work something out.especially when children are involved. Or a new company. But please believe if things get worse it is because she is straying.

I have seen being in truck with my husband that women are as bad as men sometimes. My would come home act as though he missed me and then I found some true he would always hurry me off phone even heard one in truck say is that your wife and he hung up so fast. Joe not saying she is like that. But please keep your eyes and ears open.

He became a crack head did myth ,lost a lot of weight quik that's what they to stay awake to have their fun. Stay safe and careful.

Aug 08, 2015
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Truth in what she says
by: Hervy

Joe I can easily see how frustrating this is to you. It is a huge change in lifestyle and is likely a lot different than what either of you had imagined.

We tend to imagine things turning out ideally. Hardly the case with trucking lifestyle.

There is a lot of truth to what she is saying about being the rookie and running. However, there is also a balance between running hard and standing your ground. Unfortunately, that is mostly in reference to staying legal and not getting on home on a specific date.

Depending on the trucking company (freight availability, orientation towards family, planning ability of dispatcher or load planner) they may or may not be able to accommodate for home time on specific dates. It also depends on what types of runs they have or that she is on.

For instance if she is OTR going all over the country it is harder than having a dedicated route to places where the company has established backhaul back to the house.

I am making an assumption to say that. The assumption is that the company or terminal is near home. If it isn't then it could be even more difficult to get home on certain days.

The best chance of her getting there on some of your off days is to let dispatch know well in advance. Although they promised to send her home more often, they probably didn't promise specific days consistently because it is much more difficult to do without compromising profits and also her pay.

As far as coping with it. I would agree with not whining about it, however, I would also agree with talking about how things will evolve. What is the plan going forward. Can she get a dedicated route there that guarantees home time on a regular basis? If not, after getting experience is there a company near that does offer those type of runs.

Or after a her probation period will they in fact bring her back in more frequently. Talk about what is ahead after her probation or training and come to an agreement about the future.

However, it is the case that choosing trucking means that you will likely not get exactly what you want depending on location, company and reasonable expectations. For instance as a trucker you can't make the average salary and be home every few days with most companies. You can't come home at a moments notice either.

If there are local driving opportunities or a trucking staffing company, she might be able to get a local job after some experience but again, it could mean less money which seems might be OK since you are working two jobs already.

If she went trucking because you guys are actually trying to make extra money for some goal, then staying out is definitely the way to do it in most cases.

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