Learning how to be a truckers wife....

by Brandy
(Newton, NC)

My 1st marriage was to a cop, stayed up worrying about him night after night. He cheated after 10 yrs of marriage & 2 amazing little boys. Thought my world was over til I met my husband now.

We have an amazing little girl who is now 8 mos old. He had a great job & was unexpectedly laid off. He used to drive long-haul 5 yrs ago, but then he was single, with nothing to hold him back. He loves trucking, all he ever talked about & getting laid off seemed to be his reason for going back.

Now he's working for Werner & just finished his training with a co-driver & is getting assigned his truck in 2 days. Mind you, he left out on 12/27 & its now 1/16 & he informed me tonight that he may or may not be home on the 20th as originally planned. Depends on where they send him.

This has been so lonely w/out him. I'm trying to be strong & keep my mind occupied while caring for my 3 children, but I feel like I'm always in this bad mood. I never want to go anywhere or do anything.

My husband calls me numerous times throughout the day to see how we are & to check in, but I feel like I'm married to my phone! Will this feeling of loneliness get easier?

I went from worrying about a cop, to worrying about my trucker. And to be honest, in my mind being a trucker is just as dangerous, if not more.

I'm so happy I found this website, to know there are other women, mothers, going through the same thing.

Please lift me up, do you ever really get used to being alone for weeks at a time???

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Mar 10, 2012
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Hey NEW
by: Anonymous

Well, your in luck. I am a truck driver, and I am engaged. I grew up with a dad who is a truck driver, and a mom who was married to one. It gets real tough real fast. I watched her go through so many things by herself, and for the life of me could not figure out why she was with someone who was always gone all the time. Then, when I became a trucker myself I realized what it was. And, I know what some people my think no it is not just the money coming in. Believe it or not the time apart can do the heart justice. It allows for each moment he is home to be so much more meaningful and precious. Yes the amount of worry a woman must go through dealing with us truckers' is more than we will ever know, but remember it is a two way street. We worry about our family at home just as much. It is hard on both sides, but what makes it great is when we come home to our loving families' whom we travel the U.S. to take care of and see how much they love and miss us. I worry about my fiance' and our daughter so much it can drive anyone insane. What helps is getting to talk to them everyday. Unfortunately, I do not get to do this everyday. My mom said talking everyday, trust, and faith help her pull through and maybe it will work for you.

Jan 23, 2012
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perspective NEW
by: Anonymous

i think its all a matter of perspective. I think it takes an independent woman to deal with it. That I am. I'm used to being alone/single, we just got together and I feel soo lucky to be with a hard working man. Our spark is insane! I am soo grateful for being with him. I personally don't think I could deal with kids, its definitely like being a single mom who cant date. I told myself I need to get hobbies, live my life like I'm single and entertain myself while he's gone and be faithful. I personally like Mine doesn't set rules or tries to control me. I enjoy the freedom. Most guys are soo the opposite.

Jan 20, 2012
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Trucker's Wife NEW
by: Rae-Dawn, Pay4Freight.com

I'm not a trucker's wife, but I understand where you're coming from. It's hard when they're away for a long time (business trips for me), but it is always so good when they come home. I believe you've been given some good advice. My only ohter suggestion is to try and not become resentful. You are the one handling everything at home, the kids, the house, maybe a job of your own... the list goes on and on. It's easy to turn bitter.

Jan 17, 2012
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hey
by:

well i have been married to a trucker for a year and half and it hasn't got easier but i have got a little more use to him being gone.

when we first got together he didn't drive a truck he worked at home. I really don't want him to have this job but there inst much out there so i have to deal with it.

I have learned to handle him leaving better now then i use to, i did stop crying and feeling so alone after awhile. He does get to come for the most part every weekend or every two weeks. I had him to stop telling me when he thought he was coming home so i didn't get disappointed, that happens a lot.

I live in the Mtns. of NC and there is nothing to do so all i do is sit home alone. we have no kids so it can get lonely. It's hard but you have to just remember how much you love him.. And do date night every time he comes home it helps keep the spark alive and skype helps as well.

Good Luck

Jan 17, 2012
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life as a trucker's wife will gets better with time
by: Anonymous

Hello

I know just how you feel. I've been with my trucker for almost 5yrs but when we first met he was a welder. He to got layed off and went to trucking.

It's tough but somehow it gets better as time goes by. Just keep in mind he's doing this for you and the kids,, When he does get home it will feel funny at first but then its like having a honeymoon every time he's in.

Yes the time goes by slow and i did the same thing didn't want to go anywhere or do anything but that will change to as the home life and bills and things at home need to be done it all falls on you, at least until he's home..

Just love him and support him as much as you can and keep talking and tell him how you feel and to thank him for what he is doing for the family..

Best of luck and i am always here if you need to talk..

Trucker wife from Virginia

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