Life As A Trucker - No Turkey This Thanksgiving

by Hervy
(Alabama)

(I ate a Taco... and it was good! :-)

Still hadn't made it to the home front for thanksgiving! (LOL of course I know it was yesterday)

So, I am only posting about this to give those who might be a spouse or a potential driver an example of how life as a trucker sometimes goes down.

Originally I thought I would make it to visit my Moms and Dad today. That was later changed to tomorrow (Saturday) as the return load I picked up was in the opposite direction.

Right now I am in the shop because my marker lights on the trailer is not burning and that just won't cut it in the middle of the night. Then I have to go to the home terminal, when I get to the house it will be the middle of the night tomorrow, so I won't visit my Mom and Dad until tomorrow.

Obviously this is not a big deal for me because it's not like we had some major event planned and I am not going home to wife and kids.

But these types of scenarios for a wife and kid at home is when trucking really becomes a burden. So families really need to understand the frustration on both sides of this situation so as not to take it out on the other. (Which will only make things worst)

Now here's is the other whole next level to the issue.

Supposed their are problems in the relationship. When the trucker calls and says I can't make it when I thought I

would and because of past issues she does not believe he is broke down but rather goofing off somewhere.....

Now that is an even bigger problem and a whole next level of stress.

Now supposed on top of that her girlfriends are also saying to her that he is up to no good, etc ...you know how the talk goes.

Your talking about serious issues.

This is why you really need to take stock of your relationship before hand. If both people care about the relationship then there should be a mutual agreement about the decision.
(Of course with today's economy there might be some compromise simply to began working but you know what I mean)

Once the decision is made then each person needs to take the others position into consideration before any harsh reactions to situations like this that come up. It's no one's fault, it's just life as a trucker.

As far as truckers that's on the road cheating. You'll have enough challenges just like this to work through, why would you volunteer to add to it taking the chance of ruining your family.

Drivers that is single thinking about trucking, as you can see a lot of issues come up when your in a relationship as an over the road driver. That is why you see I suggest just to remain single stack your money and then when you get into a relationship maybe go to a company with a dedicated route or something so home time is easier to predict.

Just a thought,
I have work to do.

Later
Hervy

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Nov 28, 2009
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Getting home on special days.
by: Jimmy

Even the best laid plans can backfire on you. I once worked for FFE in Dallas, Lancaster Tx. They guaranteed the drivers home on holidays if wanted. Actually I worked for American Eagle (same parent co.) They would deadhead us home if necessary. And then Q-Comm us to make sure we got home. This was from the President of the company.

Most companies will say you will be home if you want, but, you may not arrive until Thursday at noon and have to leave out at midnight. Or last time I was at home, they called me Tuesday to ask if I would pick-up a loaded trailer and deliver it Monday. I said yes and went and got it Thursday night and returned home and then left out Saturday morning.

As a trucker, you have to go with the flow, and that means holidays away sometimes. Jimmy

Nov 28, 2009
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Summarized of the saga continues
by: Hervy

LOL,

I had to chop that up into 3 pieces hope you can follow it.

I need to get on the road, yall leave a comment if the post is hard to follow.

(If I look at it myself I will immediately go to fixing and may even began writing again which will lead to me sitting here another hour, LOL.... so I am afraid to look at it.... see how I am on top of my weakness and fault (:-)and so I am proactive to letting it negatively effect me.....lol)[i am joking but of course this is exactly how it's done with serious weaknesses you avoid the triggers but first you have to know yourself]

anyways.......

I will look at it when I stop later.

Have a Great day

Nov 28, 2009
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Udate The Saga Continues - Trucking life
by: Hervy

I made it out the shop about 1a.m. but my lights are not fixed because I need the box that the pig tail is plugged in to. (Pigtail is the electrical cord you see connecting from the back of the tractor to the trailer to provide current for the lights).

It's daylight and I have brake lights and blinkers just don't have markers so I can continue homeward bound now. Now I have to take the trailer in to the shop when I get there. All part of the trucking life. I won't have to wait for it to be fixed, however at some companies you would have to (which is ridiculous).

So, about what I said earlier about being in a relationship as a trucker.....
There are happy truckers who are in relationships and it is of course possible to be in relationships but it is so important to evaluate the attitude and character of the person you will be in a relationship with.

If you are with that person for any reason other than you love him or her for who they are then that's when trucking is hardest on you.

If you are in a relationship with someone with a alot of baggage.... it going to be harder for you.

If you are in a relationship with someone who is selfish or self centered.... it's going to be hard on you.

If you run into someone who treats you like a king or queen and you in are a person who appreciate the other person and the relationship and you are both giving people than you will make it work and you can be happy as long as you stay in contact with each other and stay in communication.

Nov 28, 2009
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Update The Saga Continues - Trucking Life
by: Hervy

Thanks for posting Robin, it seems that you and your husband are on the same level of maturity and focus and so you will make this work.

And he is right, you really have to look to get into anything most of the time. Now when I first came out here you could park anywhere and there might be a knock at your door at night.

Thanksgiving, I hardly saw trucks out here much less a lot lizard.

But then, I wasn't sitting in the front seat listening to the cb and monitoring the back row. I was writing.

Last night when I got shut down, I turned on the computer and I began writing. Don't know what was on the cb.

So, it matters less about what is out here on the road it matters more about the type of person you allow yourself to be in a relationship with. Conversation in time tells you everything (Ok almost).

Don't get seriously involved with someone until you can comfortably believe that the person is someone who will treat you like you deserve to be treated.

If you can't make a definitive assumption then you have questions about that persons character, attitude, personality that makes you doubtful.

Well don't go further despite that feeling. Talk to the person about it and then decide what your going to do about the relationships.

If you have decided that that person actually cares about you and you go on with the relationship then you have to stand behind that man and trust YOUR decision as long as he keeps the same attitude and personality as he had that convinced you to be with him.

Nov 28, 2009
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continued Update - the sage continues 2 truckin life
by: Hervy

If you stay in communication then you stay connected the same way. If you let communication diminish then you lose the connection and the ability to have the confidence in the relationship because you began doubting things.

So both people needs to being intentional to work on the relationship. Marriages take work to stay strong they don't do it on their own and it's even more important when a spouse is a trucker.

So, I write about this so your relationship will be like Keith and Jennifer or Julie and Rod who has been together over 20yrs while he was trucking and both of these couples are still madly in love.

Robin in her husband seems to be headed for the same success.

Maturity. Thoughtfulness. Communication.

That's the name of the game.

Got to hit the road later, happy SATURDAY!

Hey go make someone smile today and I know your going shopping put a dollar in that salvation Army pot!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Nov 28, 2009
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NO worries. Make The Best of The Trucking Life
by: Anonymous

I have been married to a trucker for 27 yrs and he has driven 22 of those years. We solved the holiday issues by just having the dinner on the day he would come home. Christmas, Thanksgiving it is not about a day it is about being thankful about time with family. So if he was not home on Thursday for Thanksgiving we just had it on the day we knew he would be here.

Sometimes we would have to celebrate a child's birthday twice, not that the kids cared but we always found a way to compensate.

It didn't bother my husband to have a taco or a burger on the said holiday because he always knew what to look forward to when he got home.

It works out for him too where maybe we may have had Thanksgiving dinner with family and friends but he likes the drumsticks of the turkey so I would make him his own Turkey dinner any day of the year he wanted it.

As a trucker wife you learn to make adjustments and make life special for your trucker and enjoyable for your family.

This is not an easy life but you make the best of what you have.

Nov 28, 2009
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Where were you 6 months ago, Hervy? :)
by: Robin

I'm glad you put your perspective in here. I'm married to a trucker - we've been married almost 5 years, but he started driving this past year in May.

I encouraged him to do this because I thought it's something he would be good at and enjoy. I wasn't quite prepared for the loneliness or the stress of managing the household with him gone. I really did not think of myself at all! It's been VERY hard.

Today I was talking to my husband while he was driving - he didn't make it home for Thanksgiving - and that was tough. It came, and it went...we have 3 kids and our families are having a hard time adjusting.

They think it's like a tour of duty - like he'll do this for awhile, then be home. I'd like that, but this is his career choice, now, and he's got a lot of years left to work! :) For us, we were really stressed out at first.

He would be frustrated because he couldn't help me with things I was having trouble with, and I was missing him. But we're getting better at being flexible. We talk about it all. I was teasing him about the "lot lizards being in rare form on Thanksgiving..." looking for the lonely guys.

He told me you REALLY have to be looking for something to find a way to cheat out there. Unless it's really on your mind you're not going to find it in your face. He said he heard some guys talking once about the "back row" where you park if you're looking for a piece.

I trust him and he's really out there doing a good job - I'm exceedingly proud of him working so hard, making sacrifices to provide for this family. And he knows it.

I give him a good home to come back to and I think he's happy with that. It seems to be working.

It's hard - talk to me tomorrow, I might say something different! :) But the fact that holidays are going to be missed...that's a bummer....I'm sorry you didn't get any turkey, Hervy! Chuck had Arby's, too! I told him when he comes home after this 3 weeks I'll make him a pumpkin pie and he'll forget all about that day, hopefully.

The good news for him is that he was down in West Virginia, and it was 65 and sunny...up here in Minnesota, not so much! :)

Happy Thanksgiving, a day late, Hervy!
Robin

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