Lori (AKA foxylady)

by Lori
(Lasalle, Ontario, Canada)

Hi I'm Lori, 51 yrs old, separated mother of 2 great kids by adoption, Rachel 10 and Sam 8.

I met my 50 yr old trucker, Pete approx. 4 months ago and I'm just learning the realities of long haul.

I grew up in the Greater Toronto area and met my first husband in Barrie, Ontario but moved to the Windsor area in 1998. We adopted our children in 2006.

I am a bookkeeper and currently work for a golf course in McGregor, Ontario. I am an average golfer but love the sport and try to golf whenever I can tear myself away from my desk and my kids.

Pete is also an avid golfer and we golf together whenever he is home.

When my husband and I separated, I thought I would be alone for the rest of my life until I met Pete. He and I clicked immediately and although our alone time is severely limited we have managed to make the most of the time we have together.

When he is home we see each other every day and when he is on the road we text and talk frequently.

Pete is a divorced (for 10 years) father of 4 daughters (oldest 25, youngest 15) and has been trucking for over 18 years. When we first met he had been out of trucking for about 2 years but went back to it right around the time we met.

I am finding myself falling in love with him and along with that comes thoughts of a future with this wonderful man. It also brings thoughts of uncertainty. My children already love Pete and I worry about compounding the hurt they experienced when their father left.

Pete has warned me that life with a trucker is difficult and I already see glimpses of it. I miss him terribly from the moment he leaves for the road, I worry when I know he's heading into bad weather, I get disappointed when his plans change and put him behind a day or two. I am so lonely without him.

I guess this is nothing new to all of you, so I probably sound like an emo woman. But honestly, I still think he is worth the effort. And I want to give this a fighting chance.

Guess I just need some feedback :)

Thanks for reading :)

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Jan 17, 2013
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starstarstarstarstar 		sorry for your pain and narcissistic issues NEW
by: Anonymous

I am sorry you have so much pain in your marriage. I just do not understand why people stay in marriages that they can not live in anymore?

I really do not think anyone has ever been able to explain that one. All I ever hear is complaints and unnerving whining. I think that if a person cannot deal with a situation they are in is to either get help for their problems or get out.

Telling your story and doing nothing about it sounds pretty narcissistic in itself.

1. Only thinking of yourself while talking behind your mates back.

2. Thinking that it can only be the other persons fault because you have diagnosed them with having narcissistic behaviors.

3. Believing it is all another persons fault for the problems in your life, and not taking blame for any part of the problem.

These are all behaviors of a narcissist...maybe you should take a deeper look at self before accusing/diagnosing someone else with a behavioral problem when you have the same characteristics as them.

Just saying....
Jan 17, 2013
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starstarstarstarstar 		A Word of Caution... NEW
by: Anonymous

I don't want to be a "downer", but I feel the need to share my story as I see many parallels in our lives. I too met an amazing man (who had coincidentally been out of trucking for years when we met). I was a supportive wife in every way but had no idea that the "trucker's mentality" was & how it would eventually affect my future. His sisters were married to truckers(now divorced)and coined that phrase. Not until recently did I really understand what they meant. It took years of being back in the truck for it to surface. It's a life of being alone and not having to focus on every day trials beyond traffic and log books. This beautiful Christian man has now become someone I don't know. It was a slow and incidious process and took me years to figure out the burning question of how could he have been so wonderful when we met, and now turned into this man! The answer..he had been out of trucking for years when we met. He got back into it while we dated, and after marrying, I supported his dream of becoming and O/O. Had I known this industry is notorious for personality changes over time, I'd have never agreed to it. Your man may be very different, and I'm not saying this happens to everyone by any stretch, however, I am far from alone..same stories with different names. Google "crazy making behavior with narcissitic tendoncies" and that is the story of my life. My beautiful marriage is now ending in divorce after 16 years. This behavior began about 10 years into it. Just a head's up, wish happiness for you, just thought you might want to be aware.
Jan 17, 2013
Rating
starstarstarstarstar 		A Word of Caution... NEW
by: Anonymous

I don't want to be a "downer", but I feel the need to share my story as I see many parallels in our lives. I too met an amazing man (who had coincidentally been out of trucking for years when we met). I was a supportive wife in every way but had no idea that the "trucker's mentality" was & how it would eventually affect my future. His sisters were married to truckers(now divorced)and coined that phrase. Not until recently did I really understand what they meant. It took years of being back in the truck for it to surface. It's a life of being alone and not having to focus on every day trials beyond traffic and log books. This beautiful Christian man has now become someone I don't know. It was a slow and incidious process and took me years to figure out the burning question of how could he have been so wonderful when we met, and now turned into this man! The answer..he had been out of trucking for years when we met. He got back into it while we dated, and after marrying, I supported his dream of becoming and O/O. Had I known this industry is notorious for personality changes over time, I'd have never agreed to it. Your man may be very different, and I'm not saying this happens to everyone by any stretch, however, I am far from alone..same stories with different names. Google "crazy making behavior with narcissitic tendoncies" and that is the story of my life. My beautiful marriage is now ending in divorce after 16 years. This behavior began about 10 years into it. Just a head's up, wish happiness for you, just thought you might want to be aware.
Sep 14, 2012
Rating
starstarstarstarstar 		Hang in there NEW
by: Anonymous

Well it sounds as though you are a very healthy minded woman! It can be lonesome at times when they are gone, but from my experience I was patient and learned to adjust, as I knew I would. Confidence is my middle name and it sounds like you retain that quality as well.

So if he is worth it stick it out and stay focused on your goals and things will fall into place when they are suppose to is the motto I live by!

God Bless and best wishes :)

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