my husband works for decker.on top of being gone i have found rubbers and porn plus dating sites on his phone.god hates divorce.should i or not..

Not sure if he is really faithful. I hate to file for divorce but feel my new sobriety is in jeopardity,says he hasnt cheated.found boxses of rubbers several times. Im confused.

Comments for my husband works for decker.on top of being gone i have found rubbers and porn plus dating sites on his phone.god hates divorce.should i or not..

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May 05, 2015
Rating
starstarstarstarstar 		well
by: Anonymous

at least he is protecting himself and you too for that matter.
May 04, 2015
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starstarstarstarstar 		decker condoms found
by: Anonymous

Obviously he is a liar. You found condoms? Must be for the other truckers or just incase the lot lizzard or escort showed up! He is a cheater sorry or they wouldnt be there. Porn is number 1 for truckers. If married than I say move on unless your husband is ready to change his nasty habits which could ultimately effect you with std's.
May 03, 2015
Rating
starstarstarstarstar 		Run and don't look back if you don't have children
by: Jennifer

I have had a similar experience to yours. I stayed with my husband because we have 2 children together. He has always been a good dad, but he was... and still may be a cheater. I don't know. But, I found what you did.... condoms (we never use them), porn, dating sites, CL emails, new email I had no idea about, numbers of "co-workers" on his phone that were women...etc. I also saw behaviors like being protective of his phone, being a complete asshole for no reason, picking fights with me on the phone without instigation, acting differently in bed by saying weird things and doing things differently than he used to do them... obvious sign of being "influenced" from an outside source.

They tend to think that just because you can't be with them and have solid proof that they are cheating that you can't tell. I had approached my husband several times about my suspicions and he always denied it, called me crazy, told me I was paranoid, acted like I was a fool for even bringing it up. It took me having his "co-worker" on the phone telling me about their relationship (she had no idea he was married, had been dating him for TWO years, and they were planning on getting married), before he would even admit he had done anything.... and she wasn't the only one either.

Writing this out, I feel like an idiot for even contemplating working it out. It has been almost 3 years since this happened and he is still a truck driver. He isn't OTR any more, where he is out for 6-8 weeks at a time; he is home 2 days a week and has a dedicated route. I am still not sure he is faithful and after what happened, I am not sure I ever will be. It has taken a toll on our relationship because I don't sweep things under the rug any more and when old behaviors start surfacing, I bring them to his attention. This doesn't make for a good situation for either of us. Sometimes I feel like it would have been better to cut my losses and have just walked away, because it doesn't feel like the trust will ever be there again and I feel like such an idiot for being the faithful, dutiful, doting wife to him while he was gone for weeks on end. I feel cheated not only in the sense he wasn't faithful, but cheated out of valuable time of my life (12 years)where I could have been dedicating my time toward someone/something worthwhile instead of all the pain and misery he brought to it.

I can't advise you to stay or divorce... no one can make that decision for you. Just know if you do decide to stay and he is still a truck driver, the suspicions will just continue to mount... especially if he is buying things like condoms. I am assuming the two of you don't use them, and if that is the case, the question you have to ask yourself is ... WHY DID HE BUY THEM??? I am pretty sure they aren't to decorate his truck! Don't make excuses for him either... sometimes we try to find a reason for them as to why they do things so we don't have to confront what is already in front of our eyes.

I remember perusing all of these trucking sites looking for answers and signs as to if my husband was cheating. Looking back, it is just not worth it. It sounds like you already know. My husband says most truck drivers cheat. I know there are always the good ones that get lumped in with the rest, but it is very tempting for them when they are gone. My husband says he could find it anywhere if he wanted to... and he didn't have to pay for it. If it isn't someone from the truck stop or even another truck driver, it was someone from a hook-up site or Craigslist. Just educate yourself and weigh if the life you have together and the plans you have for yourself make it worth it to stay with him. Shame on him for allowing the suspicion to befall him in the first place! A man that is conscious of his marriage would never allow that to happen!

I wish you the best of luck.
May 03, 2015
Rating
starstarstarstarstar 		no divorce
by: Anonymous

Just separate
Tommy

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