need advice and suggestion about seperation via OTR trucking

by Anonymous

I am a wife of a truck driver that is new at it & you all know that they go out on the road & are gone for long periods of time.

Well I was in a department store & applied for the store credit card & the clerk asked me marital status & I told her married & when she got to the part about what my husband did & I told her truck driver.

I was shocked at her answer which was Honey, you are not married, you are separated & I replied back yeah only due to the job & she then told me let me allow you on a little secret & that was, she said that I may be married but while these guys are on the road they are married in name only.

She told me she was the voice of experience because she was married to one & she told me that if my husband was to cheat, he won't tell me & I told her no one in their right mind is going to tell their spouse oh I am out there cheating on you.

But anyhow whoever I run into that I know ask me hey how is the single life & how does it feel to be alone & finally have time to yourself.

And they always say don't ever judge a book by its cover, well lately at the office my co-workers are telling me that my new status is making me look happier, that I should leave him permanently.

It's funny because mentally I am not feeling happy that he is gone but I adjust by keeping myself busy & we talk on the phone several times a day, tell each other we love each other & don't fight on the phone.

If there are wives out there that can tell me if they had this same situation & dealt with it, I am open to suggestions & advice.

Comments for need advice and suggestion about seperation via OTR trucking

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Nov 11, 2013
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Positive about not cheating NEW
by: Anonymous

I am not married to a trucker but my best friend is & she has shown me this site & I do have to laugh at some of the comments that girlfriends & wives comment on. Now unless you have a tracking system on him or in his truck, there is no way you can be positively sure that he is totally faithful. What because he said so? Right now both you & him are looking at each other thru rose colored glasses & the pre-honeymoon stage!

By the way, I am not a nurse, but I do work in an office at a hospital. I am secretary to the chief of medicine & a lot of medical staff come into my office on a daily basis which as you know range in all professions!

You say no one is into your relationship! Well no one is into other people's relationship!

But I am helping my friend emotionally because she is getting out of her marriage all because she no longer wants to deal with a trucker or a trucker's lifestyle!

She works in the office of a police station & wants to date this cop after her divorce because she says being with a cop will be much better than being with a trucker; at least cops have to go through a mental evaluation whereas truckers do not.

And you are right with what you said that cheating comes from all walks of life! But I hope your marriage works out for you but I, too, am fortunate not being married to a trucker from what my friend has told me about it & her introducing me to this site but am fortunate to being married to a surgical nurse.

Also what she told me gave me the creeps when she said that trucking is the only profession that allows ex-felons. Her husband is not one, but his team driver told her hubby that if it wasn't for this company, he would be homeless because he has a record & they hired him. And her husband does not want to go solo because that is not where the money is!

The straw that broke the camel's back came when her husband had home time & her husband told her that his team driver didn't want to spend time in the truck & he wanted his team driver to sleep on the sofa so he could have hot home cooked meals & a bathroom & a shower available. Well the team driver slept in the truck, my friend slept in her bed & you know who wound up sleeping on the sofa - her hubby! And trucking is not for everyone & not every woman or man can deal with a trucker spouse or a trucker boyfriend or girlfriend!

Good luck!

Oct 28, 2013
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you NEW
by: Melisa

Oh and cheating can go both ways. A husbands best friend, a coworker a chance meeting. Maybe truckers do have the opportunity to cheat. But so do their wives and significant others

Oct 28, 2013
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Bitter NEW
by: Melisa

Yes. I am positive he's not cheating. You're not in my relationship so there's no way that you could understand. You've been hurt and are now bitter. Generalizing truckers the way you have is like being racist. And as for STDs? I got one once from a man I slept with every night for five years. He wasn't a trucker and I didn't think he was cheating on me. Thankfully I could use antibiotics to get rid of it then him. I am a nurse and I love my trucker.

Oct 28, 2013
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Separation NEW
by: Anonymous

U say you are the almost wife of a FAITHFUL truck driver. Are you sure about that? Are you going by his word? You know he would never say to you oh I was with this woman or with that woman! When the cat is away, the mouse will play! There are very few trustworthy truckers out there! I am not saying all cheat, but they have the opportunity to play the field without being caught red-handed till they bring the disease home & we catch it & then when we get symptoms, they are back on the road & then if we tell them about our disease, they will blame us! So far I have not gotten a disease but my friend is a nurse & has told me this about STDs & trust me she hates truckers! She lost a loved one from one of them doing careless driving!

Oct 28, 2013
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Oct 27, 2013
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Melisas response NEW
by: Anonymous

Well said. My experience exactly

Oct 20, 2013
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opinions and a**holes NEW
by: Melisa

I am the (almost) wife of a FAITHFUL truck driver. I understand how people can say you're not really married, but I think it's how you look at things. You can play into the drama and let everyone else rent space in your head or you can have faith in what you've built with your husband.If a man is going to cheat, he's going to cheat and it doesn't matter whether he's a truck driver, a doctor a lawyer or a drunk. It's not the job, it's the support he has at home. I know some of you will say you are or were supportive and he still cheats/cheated. Support isn't just lettingg him vent , it's taking care of things at home so he doesn't have to worry about it, it's keeping yourself busy and active, not crying because he's gone. Truckers wives HAVE to be tougher than most women and more flexible. Your life is what you make it. If you let people influence you, they will cause doubt. Be strong and communicate about EVERYTHING. That's how we make it work.

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