New as a truckers wife

(South Carolina)

I dont have history as a truckers wife. My husband and I have been married for 11 years. We have no children cause I am not able to have any and its always just been us two.

He decided to get his CDLs because he could find no work after he was let go from his other job. He has been gone for 3 weeks now and I have went through so many emotions it's unbelievable.

I missed him the time he left but my worse day was the 4'th day he was gone. It felt like a ton of bricks hit me. I feel so alone in this world now. I know he is only trying to better our life and put food on the table but I also feel kinda abandoned.

Especially when I am at home dealing with all the business of the home and the stress of the bills when I am so use to him being here and sharing the load. I try to sound happy and OK when we talk cause I dont want him to have to worry about me when he has so much on his plate. I dont sleep well cause I miss him and worry about him, I cant function in the morning until I hear his voice and know he is OK.

I'm trying to be strong and be strong for him when I really feel like squalling and telling him to come home. I hope as times goes by I will learn to adjust and cope better!!!!

I knew when we talked about him getting his cdls it was going to be a lot of adjustment with him being gone but I had no idea it would be this hard!!!!!!!

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Mar 20, 2010
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thanks for all the support
by: south carolina

Hi everyone,
Thank you all for your strong encouragement!!!
My email in Lynnbrft@gmail.com if anyone would like to keep in touch. It would be nice to have a penpale who understands and thank you Hervy for this websites, it is a great support tool for me and my husband has also been using it to to deal with the stress of being gone!!!
My husband was able to come home overnight cause he was dispatched to Columbia and had time for a quick visit. I loved him being here but it was so hard seeing him leave again!! I know now to cherish every moment and minute we have together!!!
Thanks again everyone!

Mar 16, 2010
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I understand
by: Anonymous

Just want you to know that every emotion you are having is completely normal. My husband has always been a trucker but just long distance since August 09. I have had every emotion known to man....I have felt lonely, afraid, scared and abandoned. Just know it will get better, I promise. Who if i can ask does your husband run for? Write Back in the times like these having a good friend is important. Hope to hear back from you South Carolina and maybe get to be penpals.

North Carolina

Mar 16, 2010
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A good woman makes it alot easier
by: NickV

It sounds like to me you guys have a great relationship. Keep it up. Yes, it is hard but what in life isnt? Everything in life takes work to make run smoothly and relationships are no exception. Hervy gave some great advice about taking a business oriented course so maybe one day when he decides to make the step into owner opp status you have the know how as to balancing books or helping with taxes or whatnot. Also the ride along program is another option. And who knows, if your interested and dont have any kids you could even get your CDL and yall could hit the road together. Some companies even train you for free if your spouse works for the company. Your call. But what is going on now is nothing out of the ordinary. Its hard, yes, but you sound like a strong person and your relationship is solid and as long as you have each other than a little time apart in the middle is just another minor hump in the road. Honestly we need good women out there like you to tell us we are missed. Most of the women are either cheating, thinking your cheating, or thinking about cheating in some form or another. You on the other hand are more worried about making things stronger and thats great. Your a good woman and your relationship will stay strong as long as you do. Like Hervy said there is a tab here on the left that says Trucker's Wives. That is a forum for you to speak with other women in the same position your in. Hey never know may make a friend or two and yall can even call each other at hard times. It is a rough life but stay strong. You wouldnt be on this website if you didnt want it to work so keep the faith and enjoy your man when he gets home which sounds like soon.

Mar 14, 2010
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Let him know how you miss him but let him know you will be alright
by: Hervy

Hi,

Hopefully that 11years has been full of happy moments from a great relationship (it sounds like it). It's not unusual to feel the way you do. It's a hard position for both of you.

There is nothing wrong with letting him know how much you miss him, in fact we love to know that we are missed. Just also let him know that you are adjusting and reassure him that you are on top of handling all the business.

It will get better with time, but you can play an active role in helping the changes be less intense by occupying your time with some positive activities like taking some classes.

You might even want to take brokerage training, or dispatching training, or business management, accounting, etc. That way if you guys decide on him buying a truck you can play an active role in running the operation.

Also, if you have no children his company may allow you to ride along, so that could be another thing to look forward to.

Hope that helped a little but make sure you read other information that the ladies here has posted.
some good stuff to help you get more comfortable with being a trucker's wife. (or at least more prepared.)

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