New Found Appreciation

by Lucy
(Texas)

I am married to a OTR trucker. I have two children from a previous relationship. The past couple of weeks I have had some real separation issues. I have been so emotional and lonely. I am struggling with telling him how I am really doing, because I don't want him to worry. He works so hard, and unloads his trailers, too.

I started to read these threads looking for support and encouragement. I found some, sprinkled in here and there. Most of what I found, however, was shocking admissions from suspicious, promiscuous, and straight up toxic wives/step-mothers/girlfriends.

The reasons I struggle have everything to do with the love that I have for my partner and the loneliness and overwhelmed feelings I have when he is away. Its difficult and disappointing sometimes. I will be so excited and anxious for his return, only to watch him completely collapse from exhaustion and sleep his home time away. Now, I can honestly say that we don't have it that bad. WE are faithful. WE are trusting.

Some of these things that you are posting in these threads have nothing to do with the trucking life, and everything to do with being with a bad partner in a bad relationship or (more likely) being an unsupportive, untrusting, uncompromising, "bad" partner yourself.

So I guess what I am saying is thank you. You have surprisingly led me to realize that I am a strong woman in a strong relationship built on trust, mutual respect, and clear communication. I miss him, all the time. I get overwhelmed, I get depressed. Sometimes, I just cry for hours. But, you know what? I am lucky. I am so blessed that this pain is from love, not fear, betrayal, or narcicissm - It is real. Love... And its worth it.