New Here... Looking for Support For Dealing With Trucking Life

by K
(Conroe, Texas)

My husband and I have been married 5 years and have two amazing kids ages 2 and 1. My husband drove OTR off and on since we got married but a little over two years ago he was in the oil field. He was new so he was the first to lose his job.

With a 6-month old at home we had to move to find a oil hauling job then that went down and he lost his job the same week our second was born. He couldn't even get a $9 an hour job and from being out of work so much we were in so much debt.

I felt like there was no choice to let him do whatever he wanted to get work so he became an OTR OO. It has been one year and it's been rough. The truck was not what the dealership stated. They fixed some stuff but not even half of what needed to be done.

I think we put $20,000 in it so far and still needs more work. That is one thing that is tearing us apart. We have to fix the truck but I never see the end and never see us able to get debt paid off so maybe one day our kids could have a home and maybe not live in fear every month If we can pay rent.

If the truck needs something I'm not allowed to say anything I am just suppose to figure out what bills not to pay so it can be done which gets stressful especially when it is stuff that's not needed right away when the electric bill is due.

I feel the kids and I always come last. Even though he loves the kids so much. He spends every second when he is home. If anything around the house needs to be done I can't tell him about it. Bye will tell me because of my disability I can't fix it that he will do it. But once he gets home if I ask he gets mad because he is either playing with the kids or after their asleep he's to tired. So i fix it myself.

One thing I can't do is unpack our garage that you can't even walk in and move boxers. We moved 4 months and all the boxes that were put in there are still there. I also wait until he buys his groceries and whatever else he wants for himself before I can see what is left for us.

I just get stressed out and feel unappreciated and overwhelmed

because I stay at home and take care of the kids. I have no friends and there are no mom groups around. My family lives close but think my children are to young for them to watch them. I man what would I do while someone watched my kids anyways? If my husband calls while someone is throwing a fit I get criticized for not disciplining them enough and he states that they always act like that.

He use to do the same when he is home but he is finally learning a 1 and 2 year old are going to act like a 1 and 2 year old. But if I'm having a rough day ill let him know. Then he just picks at me until I'm upset and will start calling me a child, etc. So I can not even talk to him when I have a rough day.

It makes me feel down and angry towards him for leaving me. I guess that is how I feel. I feel like a single stay at home mom who spends all day playing and teaching my children to spend all night cleaning up after them and then i work on biz expenses, etc. To only get 4 hours of sleep if everyone started asleep all night just to do it over and over again.

I'm exhausted. I use to be a real calm mom who never yelled and always had fun but now I'll find myself staring at the wall not wanting to play all the time or even worse yelling at my 2 year old. The poor girl is just like me too. when someone yells at her she shuts down and its just horrible to see her little face drop and you can see her shut down.

I feel horrible but don't caught myself until it is already done. Not to even mention cooking dinner! I'm so stressed by dinner time and done with the day dinner feels like the biggest task ever. Plus both my kids stand there and scream at me the entire time! Like I wasn't playing with you 2 seconds ago but now that I'm cooking they want my full attention and sometimes they just yell because they are hungry and want to eat now. I just can not win.

Sorry I'm all over the place. I was just thinking today how there has to be something out there with people who understand. I'm glad I found something. Please let me know of tips on how to stop this mindset and become a better single parent for my kids.

Comments for New Here... Looking for Support For Dealing With Trucking Life

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Aug 17, 2017
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Controlling!! NEW
by: Anonymous

He sounds like he has control issues & from a friend of mine who did marital counseling, well don't waste your time or money! My friend though is not married to a trucker so that's a big difference but my friend said all the counselor did was rock back & forth in his chair & kept looking at his clock on his desk & when the 50 minutes were up, he said time's up, we need to continue this session another time, my friend & her husband went 5 times & paid $100.00 co-pay amounting to $500.00 out of their pocket & got nowhere & my friend asked the counselor how long do we have to keep coming to therapy before you start giving us advice & he said oh this could go on for months before I get a solid foundation into your problems that I can start giving you guys advice. Well my friend's husband did not want to go to counseling, which is common with guys, but my friend moved out & moved into her parents house & her husband is not improving & she is much happier without him but they have no children! I do not know your husband but since you cannot do or say anything without him getting angry at you, it does sound like he has a controlling domineering way & by him getting angry at you, that his way of keeping you in line & having things his way! Are you a member of a church that you can talk to someone without costing you money? I wish you the best & I hope you can get this problem resolved for both you & your children!!

Aug 12, 2017
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Conroe,TX NEW
by: Anonymous

Regional Chemical Driver - $1,500 Sign On Bonus - new
Dupre Logistics, LLC - Humble, TX

$82,000 a year
Class A CDL w/ Hazmat, Tanker, & TWIC Required. The Regional Chemical Drivers will be required to load, transport, and deliver chemicals in a tractor trailer.

^^^^^^^^^
I don't understand; he has 2 babies and trying to be a new owner-operator; doesn't make sense. I know company drivers with Trimac Transportation making over $100K.
Very few owner-operators are really,really successful and the ones that are sure aren't going to share the secrets to their success.
www.OOIDA.com is a business website for the owner-operator and he should become a member. Seems he doesn't know how to run a small business. An owner-operator is a small business owner, not a truck driver.

Aug 11, 2017
Rating

Lots of Things Going On
by: Hervy

K seems like you got a lot going on. All I can say is you need to confront him straight up when things are calm about what your plans are for the future.

Will he one day stop driving? Is there an amount of money set aside or certain things paid off will he spend less time on the road.

Now you might be saying, there is now good way out due to the truck situation.

Here is what I have to say about the truck situation. My first truck took me about $20,000 of repairs the first year. The next year, I probably spent no more than $5,000 for repairs.

So needless to say, just because you have spent all of that money doesn't mean it will always cost that much to operate.

All of the things that have been repaired should now give you no more problems. You will soon run out of things that need repairing.

Back to what I said at first, at that point, you have to have a game plan about what you will be doing with the extra money.

Hopefully, when the truck is paid off and money is set aside, he can get his own authority or maybe with a company he is leased to he can run how he wants to run.

Also, there are opportunities other than trucking. But if he is bent on staying in the trucking industry, he can put a driver in his truck and also broker loads for his and other trucks so he can spend more time at home.

Sounds like yall can also use some marriage counseling as well.

Best wishes.

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