New to the "trucking" world

by April
(Michigan)

I am not a "trucker's wife" but rather a girlfriend of one who swore up and down that I'd never get involved with someone who wasn't home every night. Well, here I am. I still have mixed feelings about this whole lifestyle but I'm hanging in there and got involved in a support group. It has been gutwrenching to say the least for many reasons. I watch the man that I am so in love with, drive away for days and weeks at a time and left to sit and wonder how he could do this if he loved me. I know the guys OTR have a rough life too. I have come to realize that they live in a cab with minimal necessities, waking up in strange places often wondering where they are when they wake up, showering in dirty facilities, often eating fast food, etc. but we as a trucker's wife live in a home that has to be maintained while our DH is on the road, kids that have to be cared for, bills that have to be paid, I myself also have an 9-5 job with 2 hours of drive time each day.... granted we wake up in a bed and have a clean facilities, home cooked meals, conveniences that you guys don't but the bottom line is we do it all alone. We also wake up alone, take showers alone, eat dinner alone....... We miss you guys while you're gone, and it's hard. We resent you when something goes wrong and then ask ourselves why we go through this and then we remember why we fell in love with him in the first place. When our DH finally does come home he wants to sleep or watch t.v. which doesn't leave much time for "us" but I do make sure that he is well cared for while he is home. I haven't found any positive in this whole trucking thing yet other than he has a sense of pride for having a job and being able to support the bills. The hardest part for me is worrying about who he will meet while he's out there on the road. I often wonder if he misses me as much as I do him or if he understands how hard this is for me knowing that the man who is supposed to "be there in good times and bad" is never there. It takes a special woman to live life as a trucker's wife but it also takes a special man to live like this just to support his family. I have a new found respect for both sides of this lifestyle. Would love to have another trucker as a pen pal to gain more insight into what goes on in your lives and in your heads while you're OTR.