New to this and not sure I can do it!

by AMN
(Michigan)

My husband that I have been with for almost 22 years left for training close to 3 weeks ago now. We also have an 8 year old special needs son and a 6 year old daughter.

My hubby has been more than just that, he's always been my best friend. For the first two weeks things were pretty good.

I realized all of the things I can do now that I didn't before... and then he passed his road test and was put in a hotel for 4 days before he was picked up by a trainer.

Now he's off hauling loads all over the U.S and here I am alone with the kids and all the responsibilities, no husband and no one that I even feel remotely close to, and no sign of him comming home any time soon. I'm doing what I can to stay positive and get through this but today I cant!

I keep wondering if I should leave because I'm not going to be able to handle him being gone forever. We have always been a team and both supporting eachother financially and in any way that has come up... but now I'm here to do everything alone.

I'm sure this all probably sounds pretty selfish, but I feel like I'm at a breaking point. Is this normal? Will it ever go away?

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Apr 15, 2019
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Hang In There But Also Do This...
by: Hervy

According to most trucker wives feedback, things actually get better as far as them being able to deal with the separation of time and distance.

However, in those cases I feel like there are several things that takes place to help this adjustment.

1. They talk about the future plans for the family. (Trucking doesn't have to be for a lifetime with planning.)
2. They remain engaged with each others lives even though they are apart physically
3. When they get home they spend quality time together
4. They make choices that will impact the family together. (In other words discuss and agree first)
5. BOTH people make a conscious effort to be mindful of what the other person is dealing with from THEIR perspective.
6. They communicate their love, appreciation and acknowledgement of each others contribution.
7. Neither feels that the other's role is more important. (Both are required to make the overall objective a success. Especially with kids involved.)

So these are some thoughts but unfortunately, some of these perspectives don't come naturally for everyone. And only you are reading this.

That's why I made this downloadable list that you can pull out when he is home and actually go over some questions to help put each person on the same page with the relationships.

Improve Over the Road Relationships
Also, here is a video I just loaded talking about dealing with conflicts which hopefully will help avoid them.

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