Tips: Nurturing the Relationship

Being an over-the-road (OTR) trucker can present unique challenges when it comes to maintaining relationships. The long hours on the road, physical distance, and irregular schedules can strain personal connections.  (If you let it!)

However, with intentional effort and effective communication, OTR truckers can nurture and strengthen their relationships! In this blog post, we will share valuable tips and strategies to help OTR truckers maintain strong and fulfilling relationships with their partners.

Always prioritize your relationship if you want it to last and be enjoyable! You can't enjoy trucking if you are stressed by the relationship.

Prioritize Communication:

Communication is the foundation of any successful relationship, and it becomes even more crucial for OTR truckers.

Make regular and meaningful communication a priority in your relationship. Use technology to your advantage.  Phone calls and texts are great but adding video chats to the wife and/or family can take it up a notch!

Share your experiences, thoughts, and emotions, and actively listen to each other's concerns and stories. Regular communication helps bridge the physical distance and keeps the emotional connection alive.

By the way, be genuine and interested in what is said.  Which means you'll have questions and at times comments related on what is said. 

Establish Clear Expectations:

Establishing clear expectations are essential for both partners in an OTR trucker's relationship. Discuss and set expectations regarding communication frequency, availability, household chores, parenting responsibilities and any specific needs or concerns you both may have.

Also what are the roles of each person in the household?  Who's paying the bills (and where is the money coming from?), cleaning the garage or kitchen or taking the trash out.  Etc... When and how does the roles changes? (if it does)  

Clarify your partner's needs for emotional support and reassurance. Do either of you desire to be called or contacted by a certain time each morning or night prior to sleeping?  Do you want to be touched, held, hugged, kissed more?  These things shouldn't be taken for granted or assumed.  That's a missed opportunity to get something right that's easy to work on!

Different people have different needs!  Each of you should be eager to cater to those needs. 

(Assuming you have the right partner.  If one person is a giver and one is a taker, then lots of the advice given here becomes stressful and burdensome for the giver eventually.  Because there reciprocation will be lacking in too many ways.  Have a discussion about THAT and possibly involve a relationship coach or marriage counselor for one sided relationships, etc.)  Ideally BOTH of you care about personal development and treating each other well.

By understanding each other's expectations, you can better navigate the challenges and build a stronger foundation of trust.

Make Quality Time a Priority

While the physical presence of an OTR trucker may be limited, making quality time a priority is crucial for nurturing the relationship. When you're home, set aside dedicated time to spend together.

Engage in activities you both enjoy, have meaningful conversations, and create cherished memories. Plan outings, dates, or short getaways to make the most of the time you have together. Quality time helps strengthen the bond and allows you to reconnect on a deeper level.

If you have kids, hopefully you have a great friend or family member who will watch the kids at least once a month so you can have a romantic night away from the house doing something different.

Surprise and Show Appreciation

Surprising your partner and expressing appreciation are powerful gestures that can nurture your relationship.  You might even take the romance and attraction up a notch if done well! Take the initiative to plan surprises or special moments to make your partner feel loved and appreciated and excited to see you.

It could be as simple as leaving a heartfelt note or sending a surprise gift while you're on the road. Show genuine gratitude for their support and understanding, and never take their efforts for granted. These small gestures go a long way in maintaining a strong and happy relationship.

I would leave notes hidden and $20 hidden in different spots.  Sometimes when I talked to her and she was having a bad day, I would send her a riddle to find a prize.  Then tell her lunch or dinner was on me.  

If she was feeling bad, I would send wholefoods delivery so she didn't have to cook.

There has been time she had a taste for some fruit and I would have that sent from Wholefoods.

Of course I've sent flowers and Amazon packages as well.  But I would always be thinking of other ways to show her I was thinking about her and appreciated her.

I remember one time we were going to the beach.  When she got in the car, her seat was draped in a personalized beach towel with her pet name embroidered on it!  Be creative in showing and communicating your love.

Support Your Partner's Independence

Encourage your partner to pursue their interests and goals while you're on the road. Support their personal growth and give them space to thrive. Foster open communication about their aspirations and dreams, and find ways to be a source of encouragement and motivation.

By supporting each other's independence, you strengthen the individual foundations of your relationship and allow for personal fulfillment.

I helped my girl with ideas for extra streams of income.  When I got home I helped her set up her Youtube channel.   Shot videos and showed her how to edit them.  I bought her trays so that she could start sprouting.  The list goes on and on.

Foster Trust and Honesty

Trust and honesty are essential elements of any relationship, especially in a situation like being an OTR trucker. Be transparent with your partner about your experiences on the road, any challenges you face, and any potential delays or changes in schedule.

Demonstrate trustworthiness by following through on your commitments and being reliable. Trust is built through consistent communication, openness, and mutual respect.

Conclusion

Maintaining a healthy and fulfilling relationship as an OTR trucker requires intentional effort, effective communication, and understanding. By prioritizing communication, establishing clear expectations, making quality time a priority, surprising and showing appreciation, supporting your partner's independence, and fostering trust and honesty, you can nurture and strengthen your relationship.

Remember, it's the consistent investment in the relationship that keeps the connection strong, despite the physical distance. With dedication and love, OTR truckers can foster thriving relationships and build a strong foundation of love, trust, and support.

Nurturing the relationship is especially important as a long distance trucker.  This is an entirely different lifestyle and naturally places a strain on most relationships.  Especially if you were around each other all of the time.

More About Nurturing

Relationship Coach Brad Browning

There are many things that you can do to nurture your relationship.  Here are some ideas.

Send a letter or card once a month with a heartfelt message

Be mindful in your communication not to attack or criticize too much.  Especially not more than you praise or acknowledge.  Six positive interactions should to any 1 negative.  Because the negative will be felt and remembered the most!  

Don't be disrespectful and condescending toward your spouse in your communication.  Be loving and supportive about what you disagree with.  Communicate the reason why without the attitude.  Do that with love and in a supportive manner as well!

• Be sure to praise and acknowledge what you appreciate
• Honor his/her independence (which means if you are a jealous person, check yourself.  You might need help)
• Be mindful that love alone is not enough to sustain
• Don't do to your spouse what you wouldn't want your spouse to do to you
• Never do anything that you would have to lie to your spouse about
• Don't accuse or even insinuate distrust of your spouse.  If something raises questions inquire, don't assume or accuse.
• Don't be passive aggressive when you don't hear what you want to hear.  Or things don't go your way.  Mean, underhanded comments won't do much to improve your relationship.  Perhaps he/she just wasn't aware of what you wanted!  Or maybe there is a good reason. Talk about it.
• Ladies and gentlemen, I am sure all of you are adults.  We all have seen some of these characteristics in other people.  Sometimes toward his/her spouse.  I tell you it is ugly, very ugly.
  
• Know what your loved one finds attractive about you, make sure you work to keep that about you.  (I always include this often discounted tip)
• Know what your loved one feels shows that you love him/her and express your love in that way.  (That does not mean don't show her in your way as well, but make sure you show him/her in his/her own.  Or he/she never gets the point message)
  

Lee H. Baucom, Ph.D. Savethemarriage.com

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Mindfulness of Thoughts and Behavior

When we are the ones guilty of poor behavior or letting someone down,  it is sometimes harder to recognize or even accept when it is pointed out to us.   That is why I talk about personal development and mindset.  And hopefully reading the following tips will help your relationship goals.

If your spouse has told you that the way you communicate or don't communicate is problematic, take it serious enough to think about what is said and examine your actions/words.

Go further and ask close friends who have spend time around enough to give you feedback on whether your behavior or communication is problematic or not.

None of us are perfect and maybe you have habits that were modeled to you by parents or guardians that are not good or even fair.  Maybe you have been trained by behavior or pain from a past relationships that has affected you and you don't realize.

For example some people....

• Criticize a lot
• Complain a lot
• Accuse people of things often
• Are argumentative
• Debate EVERYTHING
• Feel they must always get their way
• Feel that their perspective is the only one valid
• Seems to only care about their interest 
• Don't want to help around the house 
• Can't see things from the other's perspective or refuse to

So you have to realize that there is nothing wrong with examining yourself and making sure you are doing things in a beneficial way to you and your relationships. 

Because to improve not only helps your significant other it helps you!

Some of the things mentioned above that people do are SERIOUSLY damaging to a relationship and create distance in the relationships not bonding.  And to build the bond is the point of nurturing.

  (Not just in this relationships but all relationships, including with your dispatcher therefor, it can enhance or detract from your pay if your attitude, behavior or communication is lacking or worse, negative.)

So that is enough on this, but I hope you are able to read this page like a person not in your body but an observer of yourself on a screen evaluating your performance in lifestyle.

If your performance is good you will win an award of happiness and strong relationships.  If your performance is bad, you will experience relationship drama, stress and possibly pain and eventually lost of love.

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