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Red flags in a relationship

by Maria
(Calif)

We met again for the first time in years Father's Day weekend, 2015. I/we were excited about getting married, home all the God stuff. However, We were supposed to spend a week together camping fishing, I scheduled time off ....he said his dispatcher screwed up and instead of ca being his home time the dispatcher scheduled him in his home town in tx.

Please note (I feel ) the trip all of a sudden was cancelled when I told him there would be (no) sex. He went out of his way to make sure that I was okay talked to my mom about it.

Even before that,early on at beginning of our relationship we got into a heated conversation he spoke harshly and stated "that I did not know what harsh was". Who has also been in and is still a participant with aa.

I have made life decisions I turned down a job to relocate to a facility via the company I am with to our facility in tx and given him my personal info to put on an application for a home in tx.
Now our conversation have almost come to a stop.

We used to FaceTime again now we barely talk. I have asked if he wants out and all I get is I am not here to make you happy, and I am spoiled and having fits cause we are not talking. Help how and what should I do,feeling played

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Oct 01, 2015
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Responding to Well NEW
by: Maria

We are not having sex for one we are not married; because the only time we have spent together was Father's Day weekend. The first night of that weekend was dinner and being in each other company, the last time I saw him I was just barely 22 and he was 21, now 58 & 59 with that said the second evening was spent talking and dinner, the rest of the time has been talking on the phone FaceTime.

Oct 01, 2015
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well NEW
by: Anonymous

I guess i am lucky my woman tells me there BETTER BE SEX.

we just got done having sex after three weeks out and she is laughing as to why you would not want SEX, we love our sex together.

good luck.

Oct 01, 2015
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Seeing the red flags
by: Hervy

One mistake that we make, is letting someone less than we deserve occupy a space that should be open so that we are available when we meet someone that we do.

Good for you being able to see the big picture before it is too late.

Good for you stating in advance that you would not be having sex on the trip. It gave you the change to evaluate the reaction prior to that commitment of time and energy.

The lesson that you can take away are to not be so quick to give out that personal information. Not to make significant life changes or plans known to that person until you have a current assessment of that persons state of mind and ideas about the future.

It takes times to get to know a person well. It could also take well thought of conversations to get them to talk about what is on their mind. Not questions in which they can give you the answer they think you want to hear but conversations in which they talk their mind.

Now you just have to be strong enough to do what you think is back based on what you have witnessed. Will you try to justify it or will you respond to what you have seen.

AS far as the dispatcher scheduling home time somewhere else or his actual home. Well yeah, that can happen but you find out at least a week in advance because you have to make sure you are somewhere to get a load to get to that place. You don't just at the last day before the hometime find out that you are going to TX.

And if you know a week or a few days prior than it could possibly be corrected or at least put off a week so that you can go to where you need/want to go.

Alternatively, the camping trip can be rescheduled for the next home time. It wasn't a one time opportunity because it was missed so that excuse wouldn't be why the camping trip isn't able to take place if the only reason was a mis-scheduling. So I'd say your assessment of the trip could be right.

His response you asking him if he wants out sounds suspect. He sounds like he wants out. I am a man. That is not how I respond to a woman that I am into and want to be with.

Don't beat yourself up about what has happened so far. You did good at protecting yourself. You have some good feedback from him to inform you of who he is.

Just remember what you deserve and don't settle for less than that. There ARE good men out there who will appreciate a bright woman on the path to which show a desire to become a better person. Just keep on getting better and better as we all should be doing.

One mistake that we make, is letting someone less than we deserve occupy a space that should be open so that we are available when we meet someone that we do.

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