Resentment

by Tara
(MN)

Does anyone ever feel resentment towards your husbands for truck driving?

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Oct 16, 2016
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I can relate with all of you 💯‼️ NEW
by: Kimberlydawn6026

We have been married 18 years he has only been a otr trucker almost 6 years he is a completely different person than I married sadly.He doesn't call or text very much which I can handle but we have 13,14 years old daughters he can be gone 8-10 days at a time doesn't even call or text them I feel frustrated pissed off and upset I have told him this bothers me he won't even attempt to try or change his attitude I am considering taking my kids and leaving I would rather be alone and happy than married and miserable because he doesn't appreciate his family at all he acts like we our a burden anyone experience these issues????

Oct 08, 2016
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Resentful,attempting to get through NEW
by: Anonymous

I absolutely and utterly resent my partner selecting long haul driving as a mid life career change. Not only did it damage our financial well being,it changed him from a dapper,witty and engaged companion in to a slack,physically lazy,unkempt individual. I joined my life to a person that once worked for the betterment of our community,now he is a poorly paid wage slave. Our relationship is now one of convenience and financial entrapment of fused resources. He decided that ALL domestic arrangements are my full responsibility, which I refuse to shoulder entirely on my own. I tabled my objections to his encapsulated truck driver mentality. Have ceased subsidizing his low pay,opened our relationship,taken a lover,and I make a list of fifty percent of the large chores and home maintenance. I refuse to pander to his daily calls in which he has nothing to communicate that is relevant. Oddly enough,the relationship is better now.He no longer heaps on the maudlin,hackneyed sentiments,fulfills his domestic obligations, and leaves the trucking at the door. I recommend renegotiating all martial agreements if it is not working. I minimized my resentment by stating and taking what I wanted. Each time he comes home,we work to creating a new style of commitment,figure out what is and is not working. Still not out of the woods, but I also no longer feel as if I am in a holding pattern!

Oct 02, 2014
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Over 40 Years married to a Trucker NEW
by: Anonymous

I was feeling neglected to I decided to look up truckers wives and I found this site. It is interesting reading the many comments. My hubby has been an on occasion over the road driver for the past 5 years. I have always been the one to tend to the home~kids~chores~bills Etc. He wants no part of it. He works long hours and when he does come home he just drops his pay on the desk for me to handle. I don't mind taking charge when he is away. He has ALWAYS had a nasty hateful side and also can be very KIND. I sware he is Bi-polar. But of late he has to sleep in his truck on long hauls and never showers only once or twice a week. When he calls me on the road he is Very Angry and Always starts an Argument. This is what I resent. I have always been their for him and have never given him a reason to think I would be unfaithful. I feel neglected and like a widow many times over. I am also sick of hearing about truck stuff when he does call me. He gets angry and hangs up on me if I sound disinterested. When he comes home for the weekend it takes me days just to get him back to normal. Than just to do it all over again the next week. Lately he even hasn't wanted sex. He has to take the blue pill just to have sex and when they ran out he hasn't said he wanted to get it refilled. This is really bugging me. Reading the stories of other woman that their Hubbys are getting sex on the road, I have given that a thought. I would kick him to the curb if I ever found out. So have not even heard from him in days and at Times I really could care less and less...Just glad to be able to vent on this site. May God Bless all of You Strong Woman out their and Keep Your heads High...

Oct 01, 2013
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I resent it NEW
by: Anonymous

I resent my husband's job a little. I know he is doing what he loves and has the skills to do in order to provide a roof over my head. Like one of the ladies said, they become desensitized to everyday life. He wants money on payday but I cant tell him the bills are behind. He doesnt want to hear it. I have to deal with that. These days he is in his own trucker world where I dont feel like I fit in anymore. He doesnt call me like he used to. He doesnt say I love you. Doesnt even want to skype or google hangout on his 34hr break even though I havent seen him since August. He says he is tired but he can talk for hours with his trucker buddies. After 14yrs together there is no romance, no hugs, just a peck on the lips, and absolutely no sex. I knew he was a trucker when I married him but I had hoped that as the years went by and my daughter went off to college that we would be spending a little more time togethet, not less.

Jul 18, 2013
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YES! TOTAL RESENTMENT NEW
by: Anonymous

My husband just got over training & now he passed & has his own truck & while he was with the trainer & made daily phone calls he was so loving & attentive & he got to come home for 3 days & we were like honeymooners but after he got his own truck I gave him no reason but he picked a fight with me. I discussed this with my sister & she told me if a man has a woman on the side, he will start a fight & her son, my nephew, overheard us & he said he read that there are women out there whether store clerks, waitresses, CB, that will throw themselves at them & give them free sex because these women think truckers & their trucks are sexy! How in God's name can they find it sexy when they don't shower everyday & have to clean up with baby wipes! And my husband when he was with the trainer called everyday a few times daily now after the fight we haven't talked in 3 days. I called him to see what's up & he started to bring up stuff I never said. I believe my nephew when he said truckers get these jobs to get women on the side & to avoid family responsibility. Well if he does have a woman, may he enjoy that free STD because I won't get his disease by him not touching me period! You don't know whether you should resent your husband, or trucking & both of us are not religious so even though 2 wrongs do not make a right, my sister mentioned I should meet other men & I told her I am afraid of getting a STD & she said that is what they make condoms for! And my husband can make up stuff but when I get him back, he gets very offensive & he didn't get like this till trucking! My nephew is thinking about driving to a truck stop & writing down my husband's cell phone # & asking some female employee to post it in the women's room so he can get these women to call him for free sex because both my sister & nephew want me to leave him!

Apr 10, 2013
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i know how u feel! NEW
by: Anonymous

I can DEFINITELY relate to the resentment thing! My husband has been an otr trucker for just about 5 years now...It started out as a quick fix & temporary thing because he lost his own business of 15 plus years. We were desperate at the time, etc. 3 kids, bills to pay,a new house & car...Well it turned into a lifestyle not just a way to pay the bills! I totally agree with your feelings of resentment. I have been out there with him. I'm not just imagining what his life is like...True, it's not very glamorous. There's the staying & sleeping & showering at truckstops instead of your own home...But, trucker lifestyle becomes like an addiction for some people. I feel like they (truckers) get so desensitized from the everyday ordinary life. They get to the point when they can no longer relate & don't want to, to the non-trucker lifestyle. They get "lazy". They no longer want to have to deal with the everyday issues that effect their family and the non-truckers lifestyle. We are left to "deal" with all the home responsibility as if we are single wives, parents, etc...So, yes I see where you are coming from, and no it doesn't get easier (at least it hasn't for me)...All I can say is if you're feeling this strongly about the resentment, this early in the game, tell your husband this isn't working out for you and that all the money in the world that he can make doing this is,is not worth it to you! It's a great sacrifice to make to spend so much time apart and never be able to get it back! Take it from the wife of a otr trucker!!!

Apr 02, 2013
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yes NEW
by: Anonymous

I know I resent my husband's job. I don't care how much he makes. To me it is not enough to compensate him missing our life together.

Mar 06, 2013
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Emotions NEW
by: Anonymous

I just wish he was here that's all! Sometimes my emotions get the best of me because I miss him being part of our daily lives.

Mar 05, 2013
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OH YES! NEW
by: Anonymous

Yes...and don't feel guilty. Yes he's out making a living, yes it's far from an easy or glamorous life out there, but it truly is an escape for many men. I can't say "all", but they develop over time what many of us wives refer to as "the truck driver mentality"...meaning yes they have their trials to deal with, but when it comes to dealing and facing trials of everyday life...they lose the ability...and my experience has been they "harden" their hearts. Over years they lose a sense of compassion and seem to forget what it's like dealing with the house, the kids, a job, aging parents, etc. I'm not saying they're out there partying, although some do....but it's no picnic back home. Trucking is not conducive to family life. When a husband has a 9 to 5 job that brings him home nightly, to communicate with his family, to pray with them, to be actively involved, it creates an entirely different atmosphere and outcome than the absent dad/husband. Yes, he's making a living but what about making a "life"?! Been doing this for 17 years. I've been supportive and understanding, but now that he's become a total stranger....yes, I resent everything about trucking!

Mar 05, 2013
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yes resentment NEW
by: Anonymous

Yes my ex wife lol that was the reason she left me

Mar 05, 2013
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No!!! NEW
by: Anonymous

Your husband is on a truck all by himself, sleeping in it, showering whenever he get a decent stop! OMG! He is not having fun!!! Why would you feel resentment toward him?? He is just trying to provide for his family!!!!!!!

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