sick of it

by Paula Mowers
(phoenix,arizona)

Husband thinks I should ride with him all the time. He stays out up to one month at a time. I don't like riding around all the time its boring to me.

We argue about this all the time.we may have to divorce.

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Sep 02, 2013
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Sick of it NEW
by: Anonymous

I have to agree with you that it would be boring too & especially if you can't get a shower every day & rely on baby wipes. Yuk! But if you have an electronic reader like the Nook or Kindle, if you get lots of books, magazines or apps on there, that can take up your time & entertain you that you won't be bored. But to get a divorce over it, that is going overboard. But your husband also has to be understanding to you that if you do not feel like going with him & you explain why, he should respect that. Geez I wish I had that luxury to do that. He must be an o/o (owner/operator) to do this because mine is a team driver that goes from coast to coast & of course with another man on the truck, either myself or both my husband & I would not have no privacy. Good luck!

Dec 27, 2012
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Sick and Tired NEW
by: Hervy

Paula I think you have been given some good advice already. I agree with entertaining a lot of the thoughts expressed. Especially the suggestions to find something productive to do with your time as mention by Vicki and realizing that it is a privilege that many women want and can have.

However, I also agree with anon about not just throwing away you life to please him. He too should want to please you.

I have read some other posts that you made. It seems there is lots of love and routine but I am wondering about deceit and control issues.

If you are not happy about things, what you definitely can't do is allow things to continue as usual.

Looking at your opportunity to take advantage of the ride is definitely a positive way to view the situation.

I think another benefit to both of you would be to seek relationship coaching or counseling. This is so that there is an objective look at how both people should treat each other in a relationship.

There should be a balance. One person should not do all of the giving. One person should not be doing all the taking.

A relationship is a balance of give and take predicated upon trust and compassion. Deceit and control is not part of a healthy relationship. You should not have to wonder what next year will bring, you should be of the know, informed, in the loop. You should not be taking it day by day.

So obviously, if I am way off here, disregard.

If anything that I have said makes sense, follow your heart based on what you desire your future to be.

Change nothing, nothing changes. For best results do what will take you to the type of life/relationship that will make you both equally happy today and long term.

This implies that there must goals for which there must be plans. What are the goals for the relationship in 5 years? 10?

The steps need to be taken now in order to make that future a reality. A new year and a new life is just around the corner for those who want it.

Best wishes

Dec 27, 2012
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Thanks for comments! NEW
by: Anonymous

Just want to say how appreiatetive i am for all of you to take the time to read my story and respond with your advice_suggestions,you have been a big help.
Im just amazed that i found a forum that actually is real and with quick response.
Lets keep it going ladies! thx. again and god bless to all!

Dec 26, 2012
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Agree with the other ladies... NEW
by: Anonymous

Consider yourself blessed to spend all that time with your husband. I don't have that luxury and would give anything and everything to do so. I completely agree with one of the other ladies in that you can find creative ways to keep yourself busy; it just takes a little thought.

I wish you the best of luck!

Dec 25, 2012
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Wow! NEW
by: Andrea

Wow because really? Are you serious I wish I had the freedom to ride with my husband again but instead I can't anymore because I am super busy raising our three children but wow any chance I get to be with my man I take it. And ya if you are going on long rides everyone knows you are suppose to bring things to entertain yourself. I bring make-up, acrylic nails, nail polish remover and nail polish, hair stuff, to do list, magazines and grab a newspaper, get some coffee or a cola that will keep you awake and you can talk to help keep him awake. I think your selfish and probably should get a divorce that way he can get someone who will appreciate spending time with him.

Dec 25, 2012
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What I think NEW
by: Anonymous

If you do not like this type of thing nothing you do will change the fact that you just don't like driving around all the time...

personally I get car (truck sick) doing this...although I know how important it is for "man to be not alone", I do not feel I should sacrifice myself, and get physically, medically, ill for the "man cant live alone" theory, he should then find another line of work work if he can not be alone....

I love crafting but how can one do this if they are getting sick from driving around all the time...and no, I would never think of taking ANY medications to make me feel better just to satisfy a mans loneliness??? just saying...where do I fit in to all of this I must ask... nope I will stay home and he can go out on the road because that is his job and not mine...

Divorce no, not that either...creative yes but it will benefit both parties and not just one of us...so maybe to find a job in town to fill your part of the obligation to marriage of helping pay bills, will satisfy the fact that he is working and you are not might be a great solution, and then you will be doing something for yourself and him.

Good Luck! :)

Dec 25, 2012
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Be creative NEW
by: Vicki Simons

Hello, Paula,

While it is certainly understandable that you would be bored while riding with your trucker husband if you have nothing to do in the passenger seat, I encourage you to be creative about the time you spend with your husband.

It is difficult to do detailed things (like cross-stitch or paint) while moving down the road, so here are a few suggestions of things you can do once you run out of things to talk about with your husband:
* take photographs or videos of the things you see around you;
* use a laptop and wireless Internet service to blog about your experiences on the road; or
* learn to crochet and start making all sorts of crafts (like one sister-in-law of mine did, while in a truck).

You might even be able to turn something you do from the passenger seat into a money-making business. For example, if you have always wanted to write a book, you will have the time to do so right there while you're traveling.

Although you may not think of it this way right now, consider how blessed you are that your husband wants you to ride with him in his truck. And based on what you wrote, you don't have any any obligations that would prevent you from it.

Understand from his perspective that "it's not good for man to be alone" and your presence with him may help him to avoid certain temptations on the road.

We think very highly of a trucker's home support team and wish you the very best in your quest for peace and harmony.

Best regards,
Vicki Simons

http://www.truck-drivers-money-saving-tips.com/

Dec 25, 2012
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Yep its hard NEW
by: Anonymous

find a different job quick....then you wont be forced to ride along with him...even if it is at a McDonald's just so you don't get stuck riding around with him and go stir crazy....

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