Struggling to accept the trucking lifestyle

by Caprice
(Irving, Tx)

Ok, my boyfriend n I have been together for a year n a half. He has always expressed his love for OTR. driving. I always was comfortable with the idea. He is now in class for 3 weeks in I can't take it.

I figure im gonna be fatter than what I am. It's very lonely n I never thought it was gonna be like this. I'm happy that he's gonna be doing what he loves the best, but we now live n a place where we have no family.

Help me please

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Aug 25, 2012
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TY NEW
by: Helonwheels

Keep up the good work, you are doing fine, probably a lot better than you think..... you are moving in the right direction by seeking support and sometimes that does not help us at the exact moment we would like it to.....but all in all it can help to know that you have an outlet when you are not feeling your best! Try and remember the tools they have given you in counseling and use them when your feeling down and out. Look yourself in the mirror sometimes and smile, remind yourself how important you really are, take mental notes on what you can do for yourself to make things a bit easier.

Remember we cannot expect anyone to do this for us, if someone does that's great, but it is always better to rely on self. We also know whats best for us, so gut feelings are something to be looked at....if it doesn't feel right well then maybe it needs some examining...

Stay healthy minded and within your body because who knows, you just might be pregnant....you want your baby to be happy and healthy.....so you must keep yourself this way as well.

We cant force people to listen to us but there are ways to get our point across....if we don't let people know what we think or feel straight out how will they know it or understand it for that matter??

I wish you all the luck and stay strong!
Helonwheels :)

Aug 24, 2012
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Ty. NEW
by: Anonymous

I must say I did this to myself; I suggested it and now I regret it. When FI and I started dating I was in an emotionally and physically abusive relationship so I latched myself onto him in the only way I knew how. He was my safe haven. I've long since sought out counseling and other outlets and most days I can keep busy.

He promised he'd be home on my birthday; promised everything we have that he would come home this weekend, buy the company called and he turned the truck around. Sometimes I wonder if he even knows what it feels like to be home. To love in a house that doesn't have 18 wheels.

When it was out for 2 weeks and home for 2 days I was okay with it; I had something to count down to but he calls and says he doesn't know when he'd be coming home again. I also have the suspicion that I'm pregnant and was planning on taking the test with him tomorrow. I guess I will be taking it alone. I can't wait another 7 months until the company decides he can send him home.

I wish he could understand where I'm coming from, he just says its the trade. And I tell him I'm fed up. At this point I will take an hour. Hell even 5 minutes. I just wish idk. I wish he was home. :/

Aug 24, 2012
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You are very welcome! NEW
by: Anonymous

Yes indeed we can all use some advice when we are in need. I personally feel advice should be given by a professional. Although, I do feel suggestions can come from someone maybe like me, that has experienced some of what you may be going through.

My suggestion comes purely from what has worked for me and might not necessarily work for everyone.

In my life I have made numerous mistakes to many to count but through these experiences I have endured for without these experiences I would not be where I am at today!

I went back to college after the children were grown and on their own. Through my college experience I have learn to accept responsibility for my own actions and accept me for who I am. And except others for who they are. While learning this I was able to move forward and learn that I only have control over what I do and not what others do. This in itself has made me a somewhat better person I have my moments this is true but I am able to resolve issues a lot better now and I feel more content with self. In other words I am at peace with the world.

With that said yes education is an answer when you want answers. In my mind.

Helonwheels :)

Aug 24, 2012
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Thanks Helonwheels NEW
by: Anonymous

Thanks Helonwheels for the bday wishes. I was included in this decision n was just wondering about tips to cope. I love my hunnie and this is truly a blessing for him to live out his child hood dreams. I wouldn't want nothing more for him. I support this and is ready for this lifestyle. Its just new and im trying to handle it the best way I can. Thanks for the advice.

Aug 24, 2012
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Happy Birthday!!!!! NEW
by: Anonymous

To both of you! I am sorry you are having such a difficult time adapting to the trucker lifestyle.

Although it has been said many, many times that this lifestyle is not for everyone it is up to you to make that final decision to stick it out or leave.

This is your choice and if you need help in your time of need, it is suggested that you receive support if you feel you cannot live like this.

I hope you were included in the decision that was made when your mate came to you and let you know what he would do as his occupation and if you were not included and this decision was one sided, that in itself was a clue that this was a no win situation.

Lastly if this is the case seek counseling to help you move forward in your life cause ultimately your relationship will turn one sided in the end.

If this is the case and you did include yourself and gave the go ahead to the decision you must accept responsibility in part of that choice. Make it happen or move on.

I hope this will bring some realization to the emotions you may be experiencing at this time and help you to move forward with or without your trucker husbands.

God Bless/Good luck/Wishing you the best!
Helonwheels :)

Aug 24, 2012
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Thanks NEW
by: Anonymous

I feel ya on that cause my birthday is today. I got a phone call and a FB status. This life definitely sucks.

capriceb0522@gmail.com

Aug 24, 2012
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Thanks NEW
by: Anonymous

I feel ya on that cause my birthday is today. I got a phone call and a FB status. This life definitely sucks.

Aug 24, 2012
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I feel you. NEW
by: Anonymous

My fiancé left 2 months ago. Leaving me with out daughter and all the bills. He moved us into his parents house because for the first month he didn't get paid. And in order to make it through I had to keep my job which was 80 miles from where we were. Sleeping alone sucks; shopping alone sucks. Everything about this life sucks.

It's my birthday tomorrow and he just called to let me know h won't be home for another month. So that's 3 months without him? He expects me to be strong and expects me to stand by his side. How can I be in a relationship alone? I don't even remember what it feels like to kiss him. I just want this to end. We can talk if you need to.

d.ashlie.d@gmail.com

Aug 23, 2012
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Same thing NEW
by: Ninifay

I'm going through the same thing, my man leaves this weekened & I'm stressing.

if you ever wanna chat ninifay@yahoo.com :)

Aug 21, 2012
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Community Involvement NEW
by: Helonwheels

Once you settle into living the trucker lifestyle, you will need to find things to do. There are so many places you can become involved with while you are on this journey called life.

Making the best of each situation and using your time effectively will help you grow into a very dedicated individual. This is exactly the character you will need to help keep your relationship intact.

There are many groups to surround yourself with and if you try many you will find out just where you fit in. Life does not have to be lonely with so many people living among us. Like 24hr/fitness so you wont have to worry about putting on any extra pounds, they have instructors that will guide you. Even at your local college they offer fitness and wellness classes where you learn a fitness program suited for you.

With that said, don't waste your time thinking about how bad it might get, think about how good you can make it! ;)

God Luck and God Bless
Helonwheels

Aug 21, 2012
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Thanks NEW
by: Caprice

Well I consider myself a pretty strong person. I just never knew that this feeling was gonna come so quick. I never will make him feel like his dreams are bad, that's the reason for me joining this group. Im very excited for him to get out there and possibly joining him in the summer. Im a manager in the school cafeteria and off in the summer. School will be open next week. All of my friends are back home in Louisiana and the job I have, I try not to be their personal friend when I manage them. We worked the same shifts and therefore was always together. I do on the other hand go on walks in the park 3n times a week. Im considering a pet now because I can take care of it. That's the most thing im going to miss. Taking care of his every needs.

Thanks for the advice.

Aug 21, 2012
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a little help NEW
by: Tina

I understanding what your feeling. It was tough at first for me. I met the love of my life and he is a driver. Heres some good points ive learned.
1. Being involved with a driver is not for the weak hearted. There are days which you wish they were with you. If you cannot handle being alone and on your own, you need to look at your relationship. There will be plenty of days ahead where you miss him. He feels that same way as you do. You need to express your feelings to him. But for the love of god, dont ever make him feel like his dream job of being a driver is bringing the relationship to an end.
2. Go find something to do. Get involved in church, get a dog, donate your time to a homeless shelter or a pet shelter, go make new friends, or even join a chat group with other women that are involved with drivers. If you dont have a job, maybe a part time job that envolves dealing with the public.
3. When you do talk to him, which should be often, tell him how much you love and miss him. Never hang up on him if you fight, which will happen. There are some things which can be handled at home and in person verses him 1000 miles away. Pick your battles.
4. When he does come home, enjoy every second of it. Maybe plan a "date" for you and him. I know hes gunna wanna relax, and probably wont get off the couch right away or go out of the house. Maybe dinner and a movie at home.
As far as you getting "fatter", a few extra pounds is bound to happen to anyone. I take my dog for walks, we go to the park, or some days i take a long walk by myself. If your that concerned about your weight, maybe join a gym, or sign up for a chairity walk. This is another way to meet new people.
As long as there is an open line of commucation and trust you will be fine. Good luck to you.

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