Talking to my OTR Boyfriend

by Kaitlyn
(Endicott, NY)

I have to thank everyone (especially the experience drivers) for the kind and thoughtful advice I've received from this website.

My boyfriend and I have been together for just short of 3 years now, and he's been OTR for 4 months.

The first month was not so bad- at night we could talk on the phone or video chat with skype.
My first thought was "this is easy, there's nothing to worry about".

But then the second month came- he was less accessible, more stressed, and I was trying to deal. He was officially in training and had to focus.

Month three was awful, he switched from his trainer to his team driver. It was good for him. He learned a lot more with the new guy, but it was bad for me- he drove 12 hour shifts and never had time to talk. I got angry, emotional, desperate..

Luckily- thanks to the truckers and truckers' wives on this website, I began to realize just what his lifestyle was like OTR. And I also began to realize what my role was in the relationship.

I have to be supportive
I have to do my best to not increase his stress
I have to help him do his job

It also helped us to come to an understanding
That I can't be the only one working on the relationship.
He understands that my life is just as stressful and tiring as his- just in different ways
He understands that, in his physical absence, what I need from him is communication
Which means he actually has to talk to me.
It's hard for him to do, but he's working on it
Little by Little

We're working through it together <3