the long hard road

by Fish out of water
(maryland)

my husband has been a truck driver of one sort or another from almost as long as i've known him. when the economy took a nose dive so did the local home every night jobs in our area.

we put the decision to go over the road off for as long as we could. i looked for a second job and he thought about delivering pizza, cutting the cable off, letting a car go, anything i could do to keep him home... But the bills didn't stop coming...so at the first of the year he signed on to a over the road trucking company.

We have four girls, that are 10,14,16 & 18. its nice that they are older and understand why we had to do this and are able to help out both physically and mentally to keep mom going.

I'm like a small child at Christmas when the weekend gets close and i know he's coming home. I watch the clock and go crazy around the house trying to make everything perfect.

Then I cry like a little girl who's balloon popped when Sunday rolls around and i know that we are down to only a few hours until hes back in the truck again. When he arrives late afternoon on Saturdays, its a mad dash to unload, wash and repack the truck...then there are the weekly bills that we write out together.

He normally brings home paperwork to do. We try to go to the store together to buy stuff for the truck. Its much cheaper to buy at the store then buy at the truck stop or buy out. We remind ourselves every week that were doing this to get caught up on bills.

I miss having him here the most when i am sick. I miss the sound of him breathing when hes asleep next to me, i miss my daily hugs and kisses and having him sit down to dinner with us. I try to make his home away from home more like home here.

I send him with the same sheets and pillows that go on our bed. I write notes and hide them in his clothes and snack bags.. I hide little treats here and there in the truck. What ever i can send him home made i do.

I try to include him in every thing we do..If its a concert at school or other function i record a video for him to watch, so he feels connected. And he does the same. He sang happy birthday on video to one of our middle daughters for her birthday last week.

What ever is going on in the house i try to keep everything as positive and up beat as possible. The last thing he needs to worry about is us at home.

I pray for his safety and well being everyday, and everyday so far God has answered my prayers.....