The long road of being alone at home.

by Tayla
(Coal Hill, Arkansas)

My husband and I have been married for four years but together for eight. I love him dearly. Two years ago we made the choice together for him to become an OTR driver.

The first year was hard. I was used to him being in bed with me every night and helping me with things around the house and all that. My life CHANGED and boy did it change. I was the one makings all the choices in the house. Second guessing myself every step of the way.

I would call him and ask him what his thoughts were and he said whatever I wanted was fine. Then this last year has been a true killer. When he comes home all he wants to do is go see his mom and his other kids and his friends.

On his four days off we get maybe a total of five hours alone together. I feel so alone during the month that he is gone and even more so when he is home.

I have battled depression because of it. I am doing better but I still need to know that when he is home he loves me and wants to spend time with me. yes I get that he needs to see his other family and stuff but there are times where I just want to be wrapped up in his arms.

When he is out on the road there are times we fight because I get so lonely I go and spend a few nights with some friends. Since I homeschool our daughter she is always with me which isn't a problem and to be honest we both love it.

I however want my husband to understand that when he is home he needs to pay me attention and if everyone else wants to see him they can come to him.

I try to be understanding but it is so hard sometimes. Right now I feel that we are drifting apart and I don't know how to pull him back to me or me to him. This road isn't easy and you have to be a very strong woman.

I refuse to give up and be just another story of how trucking has messed up another family. I will make it some how. I just haven't found my road just yet.

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May 24, 2012
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Comment to I agree NEW
by: Anonymous

You call him 30 times a day?? Isn't that a little obsessive and annoying for him??

May 18, 2012
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It doesn't change
by: Anonymous

I'm married to a long haul truck driver. We see each other twice a week. I've never been able to overcome the loneliness that comes from all the time we spend apart, because he's gone more than he's here, and If I had known how being married to a truck driver would change my life, leaving me to walk through it by myself for the most part, I wouldn't have got married.

I've never experienced loneliness until I got married, because before that, I had options.

People say it takes a special kind of woman to be a trucker's wife, yeah right! There's nothing special about enduring loneliness!

You walk through your life alone and celibate for the most part, how special is that! Being married to a trucker robs you from having a full life. No one can live happy under these conditions!

And, you shouldn't have to send dirty pictures to your spouse over the phone, and talk dirty to him, to keep his attention. Who ever that scub bag was that told you that, probably watches porno, and cheats on his wife!

May 18, 2012
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I agree
by: Anonymous

It is hard this truck driver lifestyle. Have you ever heard of the term "cabin fever"? Not nice.

There are days I must call my guy about 30 times a day especially if I hear a specific tone in his voice. I know how he is feeling. I do funny things to get him laughing even if its to tell him about a dumb comedy I just watched.

I make sure that when it is time for him to come home I have already planned our 1 1/2 day together including friends, family, kids etc... even if its a quick bb-que lasting 3 hours, believe me it helps for him to be outside.

We are rushing around outside until we come home for our quite time together. I make several suggestions to him while he is on the road until I hear it in his voice that it sounds interesting to him then that clenches the deal.

I even trick him sometimes ( :) ) and suggest things that he probably does not want to do, this leaves the door open for him to have a turn at choosing what he wants to do on his return. Then I don't feel like I am the only one who is involved in our choices to do things together.

What's important is keeping us together and allowing us to know we are there for each other through this trucker lifestyle, it's all about finding out how to! :) Be creative it helps.
Good Luck!

May 17, 2012
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what to do to wake your trucker up
by: Anonymous

Well first off i am a truck driver myself with a wife a six kids 18 to 12. For one if he is going to visit friends on his off day his company isn't running him hard enough.

i know when i come in i don't want to go any where. i don't even want to go to the store with the wife but i go just to spend time together. i just don't want to sit in a car after being in that truck.

one thing you may try that my wife has done and it may sound crazy but it works. about 3 or 4 days before i get home when i call her and tell her i am on my way back from California.

She will send me picture text of her in sexy night clothes she will talk dirty to me on the phone you get me worked up. i even try to blow it off when she does it. but boy when i come home she has all the attention after the kids are in bed.

The first time she did that she said she felt stupid for doing it and uncomfortable but she said after that first trip back home it was like it was when we first got together.

But i don't see why he would want to go see his friends after being gone. i wish a tow truck would come a take my truck and car away so i didn't have to go to the store.

Try what i described and see if it works. if you can't still get his attention that way well its not you, he has problems.

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