Tips on how I deal with being a OTR truckers wife....

by Jessica
(Pennsylvania)

I have been reading and so many people are posting how they can't handle it as a truckers wife, so I thought I would share my story and ways of coping with everyone. I love and respect my husband, and while I do miss him I have very little anxiety over him being gone, I will explain more below on how I cope..

This is my story. My husband has been a truck driver for a couple of years now. He was driving for a local company and some nights he would be out of town, and some home. He recently decided to go OO and is now OTR.

The first time out was the hardest for me. A lot went on at that time, I had left to a family reunion just as he was leaving for his new job. I was 8 weeks pregnant at the time and on the flight home began to miscarry. I got home to a house without him, my 3 girls to take care of and the loss of our baby. I, for the first time in my life, took antidepressants. I was nagging, fighting and accusing my husband on a constant basis, which I knew I was in the wrong but my hormones were crazy and I was grieving all alone.

A week later my car started overheating, and I was left without a car as my husband wasn't home to fix it. Everything seemed to be going wrong. Needless to say, I am off the anti depressants, I fixed the car myself (yay me, of course he helped a little on video chat) and am in a great place mentally. It is hard, not having that support from the person you need most, but that is where God comes in and my church family.

Having God and a group of uplifting people surrounding me is key to our success as a couple. We also have "alone time" on video chat a couple of times a week, so we still get to enjoy each other and I know he isn't in need of affection.

I want to point out that you need to trust your husband, let go of control... no amount of nagging and prying is going to stop your husband from wandering and possibly by nagging and prying you may push him to do so! Trust him, despite movies showing men driving truck to cheat, that is mostly not the case.

My husband deals with bad drivers, disrespect, lack of sleep or poor quality sleep on a daily basis. He doesn't have time to chase after other women, and yes some days he is cranky with me and acts as if my phone calls are a neusance. You must realise he probably didn't get good sleep those days and keep your thoughts from thinking its more than what it is. Trust your husband. Another amazing tool to successfully being a truckers wife is my trust and faith in God.

The days I start thinking the worst, instead of calling my husband and badgering him for MY emotional thoughts, I open my Bible and read. Gods word is an amazing calming mechanism and saves our marriage a great deal of grief. Don't get me wrong, there have been days my emotions have gotten the better of me, but the less you are yelling and accusing your husband the better your relationship will be.

Avoid those friends that drag you down and put ideas in your head, keep the friends that lift you up and support you. Keep busy as much as you can. I clean my house when I feel anxious from him being gone. Spend time with your family and friends, your children, etc.

Do not let yourself think of other men sexually, you want him to stay faithful and have pure thoughts, so should you. Thinking of another man will make you pull away from your husband and possibly cause you to be the offender. Just love and support your husband, he is working hard to support you.. and trust him!

It can be hard when you are 1000's of miles apart, and if you have a hard time trusting him, trust God. It gets hard, but God says keep going. You want to leave but Marriage is a binding contract, so stick it out a few more days to be thankful you did. You dont give up! The world says divorce is acceptable, I say not trying is unacceptable! Love your husband, you will get love back.

Nag and fight with him, and you will get anger and resentment in return. I don't know about you, but I want to be happy, not miserable. You control that, by your actions and words. You cant micromanage your husband, whether he is working down the street or 300 miles away.

Let go of control, have trust and enjoy the "you" time when he isn't there and the "us" time when he is. Make the most of every day!