Trucking and sex life

by Veronica
(California )

6yrs married husband comes home every 2 to 3 weeks. We try to have sex only 1 time and his penis goes limp fast, He has a hard time.

But I have to be asking to have sex, if not we won't. On the road I send him pictures and videos but never a compliments.

I'm a thick woman size 18 so he tells me he watches porn and Jack's off but not my videos or pictures. Never compliments me or the things I send him.

I asked for sexting he said no. I said phone sex he said no. What more do I do to keep my sex life alive?

I'm 40 he's 37 super young. I need truth no sugar coating. Am I wasting my life away.

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Jul 15, 2023
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You Asked for The Truth
by: The Crazy Trucker

Hate you are going through this type of situation. You seem like a very nice person committed to the relationship.

The first thing that I am wondering is if you are the same size as when you got married?

If not, that is a very important thing to work on. I know people say it shouldn't matter cause you are the same person but you are not the same person.

Just like if he gained a lot of weight or got addicted to something (like porn) he's not the same person either.

And this is not a question of the chicken and egg about who changed first. You are asking for answers and solutions. He is not (at least not here to me so I can tell him how he could improve on his side)

I think it would be a great thing for you to have a serious conversation to him about what you could do to be more attractive to him.

I mean this should be a deep conversation for improving the relationship which means both of you are asking each other these questions. For the purpose of strengthening the bond and nurturing the relationship. (
That said, he definitely should stop watching porn. And I don't think you are just going to suggest it and he stops.

So I believe it's very important for you two to get marriage counseling so the counselor can tell him how damaging it can be for your love life.

AND it's important for both of you to tell your side of the story to a neutral person who is able to look at things from the outside.

One last thing that you should be aware of his lack of arousal could come from what he's watching. But it also could come from his diet and sitting down so much with lack of exercise while aging.

A study talked about in healthline.com says that 52% of men are dealing with erectile dysfunction and that percentage goes up at age 40.

So the question is did he start noticing problems and then start watching porn?

Is he reluctant to initiate sex because he has this problem and doesn't want to face it?

Or is the problem coming from him losing attraction?

Or is the problem coming from his unhappiness with trucking right now? (If he's owner operator it's definitely a much more challenging industry than it was a few years ago with rates being so low)

So you conversations should be about your financial strength/standing. If you are not budgeting that could uncover some financial issues.

They (conversations) should cover, ED and him talking to a doctor. Cause it could also come from restricted blood flow from blockage or general poor circulation. (And there's medicine for that but it's more important to get to the reasons and not just addressing the symptoms.)

However, there are many ways to improve this naturally. If he's not sleeping, exercising, eating nutritiously then make those better choices could improve that.

It should include mental health.

And it should include marriage counseling.

I wish you all the best of luck. I hope he is as committed to the relationship as you are and open minded about personal development enough so that he will be on board with talking to a marriage counselor.

By the way, you need to take care of your health for YOU so that you age well and in good health and look good in the mirror. It will benefit the relationship as well.

Eating healthy (I don't know if you are or not) and exercising and researching ways to nurture the relationship and learning what destroys and what builds it.... is a project that you can do together.

If that is something that you can do, that relationships will definitely improve.

It's a very good sign that he does make love to you. Some women say the guy won't under no circumstances. And he's coming home every 2 or 3 weeks is good compared to other trucker wives saying the guy stays gone for 2 months.

So hopefully you 2 can work it out. If he agrees to the talks and working on it, you definitely are not wasting your life away.

If he won't............ then the argument is a little tougher to make.

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