What Ive Learned Here as a Girlfriend.

by Jennifer
(Tennessee)

I found this site when i was about six weeks into falling for my trucker.. :)

We are now 6 months into it. I could go on and on and on about how wonderful i think he is..but what i really want to say is that the most important thing i have learned here is communication.

Im no young girl. Im 45 and have two grown children. He is no little boy either.

The only way that this is working is the fact that we talk. Not only about what he does and hauls, not just about current events or easy things.

We talk about us. our hopes for this and our needs for this to work.

His job took two relationships from him. You know what though? im not a trucker and ive lost two relationships too.

This one is different. We are both willing to have those tough talks. We both are stepping up and saying, i would feel better if... It would be great if you... What do you need from me to know that i can be devoted to this?

Then we actually listen to the answers and put them into practice.

We live in different parts of the country. Not too too far away but still its far enough.

As a girlfriend, not a wife, i dont have that benefit of weekends home with him. We grab the time we can together, i ride with him when it is able to happen. I also get to ride with him while we are on the phone, it seems odd to some but really, its almost as if im there with him.

Ive never met a more romantic, caring and open man. The road warriors we love need to know that they have a solid thing, a devoted woman, someone they can talk with and share with. Someone out there who loves them.

The positives about this, the biggest thing is that we know that we are connected by more than sex. We truly enjoy each others personalities. We have spent more time on the phone than in each others presence. When we do see each other, fireworks :)

In some ways i think that makes us luckier than 'normal' couples. In some ways we are behind in our growth as a couple but for us, right now, it works.

As a grown woman, as a strong woman, as an independent woman, i feel lucky to have this relationship in my life.

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Nov 01, 2010
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thank you
by: Juju

Oh my gosh! Thank you so very much for your positive story.

There are so many negative stories. I am searching for positive because I am new to my fiancee being on the road.

Relationships have ups and downs whether or not you are in the same house or far away. We are fortunate to have a strong foundation. We have each lived through the games that are played, with our past relationships.

We are looking forward. It will be tough. We both know that. We are committed.

I am proud that he will be working at a job that, for the most part, loves. He is geeked about going back on the road (he retired for just a little over 2 years).

We are both grateful for the time we have had to establish a loving, respectful relationship.

Thank you for your words of encouragement.

Nov 30, 2009
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Great outlook
by: Jennifer S

Jennifer,

As with Hervy's comment, I want to thank you! It is so very nice to see positive feed back on a relationship! Its (in my opinion) all a matter of mind set, and outlooks on relationships! It does not matter if he is a driver, or a sales man. It does however, take a special woman to be able to deal with ANY man gone as long as drivers are.

Thank you so much for sharing! I am not sure if you have joined us on facebook, but If you have not--Please do!

http://www.facebook.com/home.php#/Truckers.Wives?ref=sgm

Jennifer

Nov 28, 2009
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The Right Character
by: Jennifer

You are so right! It is an individual thing, some men and women never grow up or take the time to think about who they are and what they really need to be happy.

He has been alone in that truck for a very long time, and actually thinks about things. We met online, and dont know each others histories, we have to trust each other and take each other at our word. We dont have the benefit of asking around, is he a cheater in his past? does she play around on her men?

Its be a conscience choice to trust. Its not easy, sometimes you have to give up your worries and just think, 'I trust this is the way it is supposed to be'

He is a very blunt man, almost to a fault. There are times when its been uncomfortable for me. It has also allowed me to be more blunt myself. I had to say what the hell and just ASK what i want to know instead of beating around the bush. If i ask, i have to trust he is honest in his reply.

At the beginning, i didn't dare ask if he had a woman at home, i enjoyed his company in the evenings on the phone so much i didn't want to think about that. Eventually my feeling grew for him and i had to bite the bullet and ask. He didn?t :)

He said that he didn't like thinking of me with anyone else, i told him that since we both felt that way, we would take it as it came.

I could feel the joy he had for his job. Yes its a pain, yes he missed home, yes he lost out and got sick of truck stop showers. He still had a joy for being on the road that can not be denied. I think the majority of drivers have that as well.

I recognized that, i embraced that and told him so. How can you ask someone to give up that joy? I accepted it will not be changing soon. I think many drivers are hesitant because they think a woman will eventually want them home in a 40hr a week job and it would be too closed in for them.

They are travelers after all. Maybe they are afraid that if they express enjoyment of being on the road, the women will take it as a slight to her some how. We have to encourage that joy and help them feel safe expressing it.

That made us both comfortable enough to talk about what we wanted in life, and its the same most people want, a companion. Spending time on the phone with him while he drives is companionship.

Being older, yet in the prime of life :), ive had enough games. I dont tell him im going out to the bar and play that 'oh so many men looked at me' angle, i dont tease him if he calls a few times a day, i dont try and get a rise out of him. If i am going out i make sure to text him while im out, having fun but it would be better if you were here with me. I dont ignore his calls so he will wonder where i am or who im with.

The toughest thing really are the stereo types i hear from friends and my family about truckers. They plant seeds of doubt. I respond with, his profession has its challenges for both of us. Why dont you just let me enjoy this and see where it goes? They cant argue with that.

Nov 27, 2009
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the key to dating a trucker (or anyone else)
by: Hervy

Jennifer (from TN) :-)

Thanks so much for posting your positive experience about your relationship with a trucker.

Communication is indeed the key.

Problem is it takes two people on the same level and with the same intent for that to work. I am so happy both of you are on the same page and it is working out. Too many people today are playing games.

I wish you 2 the best of luck and ongoing happiness.

Maybe there is some light you could shed on other who are having the opposite experience with their experience dating a trucker.

I think often they will find it is the character of the man and not the fact that the man is a trucker which is the problem.

Ladies reading this, you are dealing with a man of the right mindset and intentions for relationship it is likely that dating a trucker can be a good experience like Jennifer's.

Have the discussion about his intentions for your relationship before it gets serious and don't just listen to his words observe his actions to see if they match what you would want in a man.

Thanks again for the post Jennifer,
continued happiness
Hervy

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