When does it get easier?

by Missing him
(Portland, OR)

My boyfriend and I have been together for almost a year... He said he wanted to drive big rigs before we became a couple but I didn't want him to drive long haul.

I've tried to be supportive of his dream but also told him how much I want him here with me! We had no luck finding anything local that didn't require at least a year experience so he left last week for his training with Swift...

I am going crazy already and everything that reminds me of him makes me break down!!! It'll be a week tomorrow and he's go to do 240 hrs before he can come home at all :-(

He left for a couple weeks before (about 6 months ago) to get his CDL but didn't take a job with that company... A small part of me hopes and prays that this won't work out so he can come home, even though we need the money so bad.

I know that's so selfish and he will be much happier as a man if he can be successful and provide for our family but I can't help but feel that way! This time feels so much worse than before...

I know that I need to keep myself busy and everything, but so far it's not working. I work full time and we just moved so I have plenty that I need to do, I just can't focus and get motivated. We did everything together and everything reminds me of him and how much I wish he was home.

I work full time and have a teenager (not his) so going on the road with him isn't an option right now... I told him if he can just wait a couple years, I'll go with him... But he needs work now and is tired of doing jobs that don't pay well and make him miserable.

Maybe this time hurts so much worse because we have lately been coming out of the "honeymoon" stage... Nothing major but it's like the stresses of life have been getting to us both and we haven't been getting along as well because of it (mostly money, we lost our home a month ago).

We've talked about marriage and having babies and our future together... But with the way things have been the couple of months, I'm worried that this was the worst possible time he could leave...

I dont want to lose him on the road! A few days before he left we were arguing and he said how glad he is that he gets to leave soon, I know it was out of anger but I can't get it out of my head!

Seems like with him gone for almost a whole year, we'll miss so much life opportunity...

How can our relationship grow if we can't be together???

I don't have a lot of family and friends close by and feeling so lonely with the other half of my heart gone. I guess I'm looking for someone to talk to who has even there... Some tips about the industry and how I can do this!

I would give anything to be on the road with him, it just can't happen right now because my son is only 15... When they say they'll only do it a year and then find something local, how likely is that?

I'd think there are too many drivers that want that... And he says he'll only get 2-3 days home each month!

Really, how is that even ok for a company to do that? Doesn't seem right!!!