WHY??? We had it sooo good!

by Frances
(Canada)

At the age of 57 my husband announced to us (myself and our 3 children) that he had decided to "retire" from his lifelong career of being a professional accountant.

We all sat around the supper table with our mouths hanging open in a state of shock. Our son (who was in university at the time) asked "So, what are you going to do now?" Dad's reply: "I'm going to become a truck driver." Silence. Then we all laughed and said "You're joking, right?!" Dad: "Nope." Us: "But you don't even know how to drive a semi!" Dad: "I'll learn."

That day changed all of our lives!

One month later my husband brought home a new semi-truck. (He still did not have his license.) He found a company to register his truck and provided him with a temporary driver. Meanwhile he took a few driving lessons and passed his Class 1 tests. The day after he passed the test he left on his first solo trip. It has been 5 years now. I'm still working on the adjustment.

Before the truck, we had a "normal" life with a routine. Everyone (husband and 3 kids) were out of the house by 9:00 a.m. at the latest. I was fortunate to stay home and look after our aging parents and everything else at home.

We live in the country. Our house is on an acreage separate from our farm yard. So that means 2 yards to maintain (mowing grass, weeding, maintaining buildings, etc.) I spent quite a lot of time on the truck with him the first few years.

Our children were so frustrated that we were away so much. Even though they were finished high-school and sort of independent they still needed us for many things.

My aging mother who depended on me for many things as well now felt "abandoned". (The other 3 parents passed away by now) Time spent at home was spent doing laundry, cutting the grass and getting ready for the next trip.

Two years ago I was diagnosed with Parkinson's disease. At this point I don't have the energy to take care of all of the above anymore. Sadly, the place just doesn't look like it used to. My husband is home maybe 2 days/nights a week.

When he is home he is still delivering and picking up his loads, repairing/maintaining the truck. No time or energy left to take care of stuff at home. I can only do so much. The kids have all grown up and are out on their own by now.

They have their own stuff to do and look after so I can't count on any help from them in this department either. As you can imagine, I'm feeling very frustrated and becoming depressed with the entire situation.

The most difficult adjustment for me has been not being able to have an active social life which we so enjoyed before the truck entered our lives. One can't plan too much in advance as you never know when he'll be home and what he'll have to do when he gets here.

It is difficult to find a time that we can spend together as a family when dad is away most of the time and children, their spouse or boyfriend/girlfriend work shifts, etc. Even though our children are all grown up by now, they still feel the frustration of a dad that is not around.

My husband still loves to drive the truck but it has taken it's toll on all of us. I don't know if I could have survived all this with a young family. I admire those that do.

Guess we'll just "keep on truck'n" until he gets tired of it!

From a tired, lonely truck-drivers wife.