will i end up in divorce?

by Dennis Fitzgerald
(Crossville,Tn)

I am married for 2nd time, we been married 19 years,

I am thinking of attending truck school at Prime with Seth Baldwin, due to economy, I have been in construction for 35 + years, I am not much of a father to my kids, age 17,13,7 and was never there for my previouse kids aged 29 and 27 they dont call me or want anything to do with me, I like everything to be perfect at my house with my wife and kids or i get mad easily, i think they might like me gone since i never spend time with them now . So how can i keep this maariage alive?
Trust me I not easy to get along with.
Wife thinks i will cheat on her and lets face it, we all know TEMPTATION is there for the taken huh?
I am also a reformed alcoholic.

So any advice I can feed upon is greatly appreciated.
I say it MIGHT make us grow closer, but my wife says "out of sight - Out of mind" she believes when you are away from someone you tend to forget them easily.

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Apr 22, 2010
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Recovered Alcoholic and Newbie Trucker Delivers A Message on Relationships
by: Newbee trucker

I've been in the A.A. program since 1997...However only recently have I taking the steps (12) and put my trust in the Most High of the bible...I don't have any experience in trucking yet...recent school grad from Smith & Solomon...

My wife was the one who had the idea for me to try the trucking industry...at first with my thinking (for those who are unfamiliar with alcoholics we are extremely self-centered people)

I figured she just wanted to get rid of me-lol...not true economy is bad and will get worse, and the industry (trucking) is still going strong.

I've been married for a short time too, and realized one key point after a very rough start with my spouse...the person you chose to marry (nobody puts a gun to your head, maybe they did and that is unfortunate) but with everything in life it is a choice!

Love is not defined on conditions and it is definitely not selfish...my point is once I changed my outlook on life, with a lot of prayer and meditation, I realized that if I really love my spouse, I have to do it unselfishly...Day in and day out my spouses needs, concerns, complaints, etc have to be dealt with from a different perspective other than from my own...that is why I choose to depend on the Most High for guidance.

In your case I am not a counselor or fortune teller...but I do know every day you are still breathing there is still a chance for you to start over, right a wrong that you have established.

Will we make mistakes always, is any marriage perfect, well, I would really hate to see one that is because either spouse is not truly being themselves...So start living unselfishly like the A.A. Big book talks about, the bible lives about, and pray, pray hard because us Alkeys have it a lot tougher than others because positivity is the enemy to our individual egos.

I also like what some said earlier, think it was Keith, we can only change ourselves, and once we stop worrying about changing others life can go a lot smoother for us...

Take care and Most High willing you will take the principles of the A.A. program and use them as a starting point to improve all your situations in life!

Mar 27, 2009
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What are you thinking?
by: Jennifer Schnittker

This sounds like egocentricity at its finest. Unfortunately it sounds to me like the only one "keeping your marriage alive" is your significant other. Your desire for self-fulfillment will never keep a marriage together, unless the other person is willing to deal with it. It takes 2 to make a relationship work. With out that, all you have is an empty shell that is not truly fulfilling to anyone.

If you want to "keep your marriage alive" it seems to me that you need to do some serious self-evaluation, and work on yourself. Running from a situation will NEVER EVER solve anything

Mar 17, 2009
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Hmmm
by: keith

Well gotta say this first,"Reformed" alcoholic? I'm a recovering alcoholic myself and the first thing AA taught me was to periodically take my inventory and fix the things that I recognize as being wrong with me. Ya cant change anyone else,only yourself.
As to will the marriage survive? don't know bud,if ya having difficulties now,life on the road sure wont make it any easier i assure you. Take it one day at a time and think everything through thoroughly. Good Luck

Mar 17, 2009
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Dennis is asking
by: Jimmy

Hey Dennis,I won't be of any help. Sorry, no crystal ball here. You're marriage has endured for a lot of years, that's a big plus. It kinda sounds like you need to put some big effort into your relationship with your kids. Just from what you mentioned. Hopefully, it's not too late.

I mean, come on, they're your kids, right? As far as you driving and being away from home, you can only try it and see what happens. Consider taking them with you every so often. Jimmy

Mar 17, 2009
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OK You Asked For It
by: Anonymous

If She Aint worth you spending your time and money on then what the hell are you thinking? On the other hand If she is then you need to appreciate her for that! If you got to cheat leave her alone and go down the road!

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